Fascinating responses everyone!!!
Fortunately yes, it was sarcasm...
A bit of an update though: I bought an aftermarket mounting kit which turned out to be of very nice quality and very strong (actually cost a bit more than the official Starlink one). The mounting pole is around 500mm or so (a bit far off 3000m). It's as high as it can go, in the center top of the roof.
We are frequently getting between 180 - 300mbps, which is mega compared to our standard WiFi, but... many, many interruptions...they occur, on average, 10 or more times per hour, sometimes lasting for up to 25 seconds. The majority of them are +/- 2 seconds, which is fine. The longer ones are definitely noticeable, particularly in video/whatsapp calls, and even browsing at times. For streaming, however, it's totally fine most of the time (other than live F1, which is the biggest concern). Netflix/Youtube etc, totally fine. Also loading 4-8k videos like there's no tomorrow...instant.
I got in touch with Starlink as initially I was really puzzled as to why I can't simply swivel the dish around to a position where I felt it would get the best and clearest view of the sky. Unfortunately, the alignment has to be very specific in order to catch the specific trajectories of satellties in our area, irregardless where your clearest view is. If I pointed the dish to the South where the view of the sky is 100% clear, it wont work, and must face West, which is where 95% of the obstructions are... I have actually tried it in different positions, simply ignoring the alignment guide on the app, but it does not perform well.
It will be interesting to see what happens during dry season when all the leaves disappear...we are also (unfortunately) taking one of the biggest trees down next week due to weather damage...I believe this could help a lot.
If you're considering getting one, I really do recommend having a proper, proper survey of the area first, because they really do not handle obstructions well, even if its just a few tree tops.
Perhaps the 3000m pole needs to happen...