I am definately boring and they soon figure out I am not useful to them.
Living in Lampung one easily figures out that it is probably the cheapest prices for food in the nation. Compared to Jakarta mall restaurant prices, Lampung's are 20 to 40% lower. More people can afford the branded restaurants. One of the largest is Indonesian flavored menu and is always the busiest. We eat there maybe twice a week. People don't mind saying hello but we are left alone then. Night life is another thing. Sitting at a table with my wife it is not uncommon for a single male or mixed couple to ask if they can sit at our table. My wife quickly ends that request and points out empty tables. A couple nights ago, at an outdoor lounge with live entertainment we were sitting with another bule and his wife. While we were at a larger table, there were 5 or 6 open tables out of 80 to 90 tables total. Twice different couples came up to us and asked if they could sit with us. Actually, one of them didn't even ask and just reached for chairs. Both couples will relieved of their ideas by both of our wives. They can be vicious and don't care who they insult. Western influanced I guess.
They want to sit with us, why. To show they are with bules? Hoping bule buys their drinks? Photo, photo, photo op? Meet a bule one time for a few seconds and you can and will tell everyone this is your friend.
I get invited for coffee but it is always at someone's house. Never out. Sometimes they want to invite themselves to your house.
Gengsi is Image. Watch people as they walk around the larger branded stores. Take ACE for example. All those people and the vast majority will not buy anything. Some will take some photos in front of whatnot. Some will buy something small so they can not only have something they can say was bought at ACE but they will now have a bag showing off the name to be used over again as they walk around. I have personally seen someone pull a branded paper bag from a trash can and put their items into it and then walk away carrying the branded bag for all to see. It's Image. It is what others can see. A branded shopping bag, a small item with a name on it, a picture to show others. Paint the front of your house while the inside is a total disaster. Move up financially and you become prey for the finance companies who do all they can to make credit easily available. Now you can get even nicer branded things to scream, hey, look at me being so successful and of a higher class. Without credit it wouldn't have been possible.
Like the saying goes. You can take the Indonesian out if the kampung but you can't take the kampung out of the Indonesian. Indonesians a visual people. Even when they move up in finances and can afford a house, which is always their desire, the house may look very nice on the outside but it is close to empty inside. Up and down the social financial ladder, it is what they can present visually to give the image they are higher than their actual financial rung.
Is it a big deal? No. Should it be a big deal? No. Everyone does it, everyone knows everyone does it. Easily ignored. While some of it is funny, some of it is sad. None of it will ever change.
