Another example of 'saving face' being misinterpreted. If you scratch up someone's car door, inconveniencing the car's owner for a week while it gets repaired, I don't care who you are - you apologize. Enak aja get to keep your pride.
Had an angkot take a sharp turn and hit the front of my cars it changed into my lane. So much so that my front bumper shifted position. What was amazing was not the apology he gave me but that he could apologize AND gently make it clear that he was not going to pay for any damages. Right up there as far the “best” non-apologies I’ve experienced.
But to discuss the original topic:
-As far as domestic help goes, my wife and I have yet to experience domestic help that is both honest and competent. Previously we had one that was competent but would always pocket the change from the water gallon guy, the gas guy, or any change when we would ask her to go the mart (she would simply say she lost the receipt).
Currently we have one who is honest but was careless enough to forget turning off the stove one afternoon as she went to take a nap. Thankfully nothing happened. We’ve just learned to prioritize honesty over competence though at the same time, letting them know what’s “at stake” usually causes them to try upping their game.
-The one that I haven’t figured out is the stealing and taking. My wife let a friend borrow her dress once so this friend can wear it at a wedding and well...it was never returned. Why? I’m not sure. Though my wife now knows never to let this friend borrow anything.
When this friend became a DPR candidate, my wife and I silently prayed that she wouldn’t get elected (she didn’t). Because if the incident with the dress was anything to go by, this friend had a high chance of becoming one of those “politician x involved in corruption scandal y”. If she can’t be honest with the small things, it’ll be difficult for her to be honest with the big things right, right?
-And as far as “face” goes in the workplace. From my experience, “Mohon ditinjau kembali, Pak” (Please reconsider the decision) is as blunt as a subordinate is going to get as far as questioning a superior goes.
And it’s always the “You can always be upfront with me” superiors who are the most authoritarian/feudal/anti-criticism.