Jokes

[Davita]

A blonde lady came to the garage and said "My car needs a 710 please."
The mechanic said "What's a seven hundred and ten?"
She continued "'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. It's missing and I need a new one."
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pencil and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
She drew a circle and in the middle wrote 710.
The mechanic scratched his head then took her over to another car, which had its hood up, and asked "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She exclaimed "Of course..... its right there!"

 

[waarmstrong]

The joke would be better if I could see the image. This is all I see:

.

 

[Ruserious]

Davita I guess it says Oil upside down???? The pic would've helped for the joke.

 

[Davita]

The joke would be better if I could see the image. This is all I see:

.

Davita I guess it says Oil upside down???? The pic would've helped for the joke.

A blonde lady came to the garage and said "My car needs a 710 please."
The mechanic said "What's a seven hundred and ten?"
She continued "'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. It's missing and I need a new one."
The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pencil and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
She drew a circle and in the middle wrote 710.
The mechanic scratched his head then took her over to another car, which had its hood up, and asked "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She exclaimed "Of course..... its right there!"

The above IS a copy of my total post No. 201 which I still see right now on my computer which I originally posted ay 8:42am...

 

[vocalneal]

 

[waarmstrong]

The above IS a copy of my total post No. 201 which I still see right now on my computer which I originally posted ay 8:42am...

Thanks for the explanation; I get the joke now. I guess there is a glick is my system; I still only see

 

[Davita]

Thanks for the explanation; I get the joke now. I guess there is a glick is my system; I still only see

hehehe....maybe your computer was made by a blonde who's tired of hearing blondie jokes...

 

[Davita]

Little Jake, 5 years old, was learning to read.
He looked at his zoo book and exclaimed "Look Ma, a frickin' elephant!"
Astounded mum ran to check and, sure enough, there it was written...African elephant!

Gotta love phonic learning.

 

[Davita]

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists - two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.'
'Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . Kill her!!'
The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'
The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.'
The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
'This gun is loaded with blanks,' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL........Don't mess with the crazy ladies!

 

[Theoros]

hehehe....maybe your computer was made by a blonde who's tired of hearing blondie jokes...

Your attempt to embed an image failed as it appears to link to content in your private AOL webmail interface.

Perhaps it is your post which was made by a blonde. If so, kindly let us borrow your login and password so we may view the intended image. We'll return them to you afterward.

 

[El_Goretto]

@Davita, as @Theoros pointed out, the reason why we couldn't see your image is because it is from your private email. All theoros did is right click and copy the address of the broken image (even if the image itself doesn't display, its address is available for everyone to see).

If we go to the address theoros pasted, we get an error message saying that we are not logged in.

You, on the other hand, will see your emails since it's a link to your AOL inbox.

So don't worry, no hacking occured

 

[waarmstrong]

Davita is a blonde?

 

[vocalneal]

Have you ever met a gay welsh toolmaker? You'll find one on Dai Grindr

 

[Davita]

@Davita, as @Theoros pointed out, the reason why we couldn't see your image is because it is from your private email. All theoros did is right click and copy the address of the broken image (even if the image itself doesn't display, its address is available for everyone to see).

If we go to the address theoros pasted, we get an error message saying that we are not logged in.

You, on the other hand, will see your emails since it's a link to your AOL inbox.

So don't worry, no hacking occured

I followed the 'How to post pictures' described in this forum by using postimage.org...I won't make that mistake again.
My post # 204 shows exactly what I see from Waarmstrongs post # 202 and Ruserious post # 203 so assumed they saw the image but no narrative.

Notwithstanding my ignorance of how this happened I suggest members could easily have PM'd and I would have had the opportunity to correct or delete.

I'm also reminded of posting guideline....
"You agree to not divulge any personal information of other users without their explicit consent. This includes referring to users by their real names in posts, or linking to their social media profiles."
I did not agree to have someone troll to find and display my AOL inbox code...whether it can be accessed or not!

 

[William King]

I followed the 'How to post pictures' described in this forum by using postimage.org...I won't make that mistake again.
My post # 204 shows exactly what I see from Waarmstrongs post # 202 and Ruserious post # 203 so assumed they saw the image but no narrative.

Notwithstanding my ignorance of how this happened I suggest members could easily have PM'd and I would have had the opportunity to correct or delete.

I'm also reminded of posting guideline....
"You agree to not divulge any personal information of other users without their explicit consent. This includes referring to users by their real names in posts, or linking to their social media profiles."
I did not agree to have someone troll to find and display my AOL inbox code...whether it can be accessed or not!

erm, he has not divulged any personal details, he is kindly letting you know that NOBODY can view that picture, only you.

 

[waarmstrong]

King Willie's got it right. Cannot see shit.

 

[El_Goretto]

@Davita, you must be confused because you did not use the address from postimage. If you had, your image would have displayed or if it didn't we would still be able to see an address to postimage by right clicking on the broken image, copying the address and pasting it in a new browser window.

Theoros didn't do anything wrong. That address was there for everyone to see. It's how the internet works.

 

[Theoros]

I'm also reminded of posting guideline....
"You agree to not divulge any personal information of other users without their explicit consent. This includes referring to users by their real names in posts, or linking to their social media profiles."
I did not agree to have someone troll to find and display my AOL inbox code...whether it can be accessed or not!

You posted it publicly. I merely quoted it. I have now removed it from my post, however it's still visible in your own post.

But I wouldn't worry about the possibility of having divulged personal information because AOL UIDs can only be mapped back to AOL email accounts or screen names by someone who has access to AOL's user database. AOL users are constantly posting their webmail inbox links all over the web, so AOL has made it so the URLs are effectively anonymized. The real world threat is so minuscule Google doesn't even bother to filter AOL URLs containing UIDs.

On the other hand, if you post a similar webmail link containing the same UID on another forum under another name (perhaps even your real name), using Google it would be trivial to associate that forum persona with your Expat Indo persona.

 

[Davita]

I am confused as it is obvious I'm seeing things on my screen different to others. I cannot see any link nor codes but I clearly see the picture and joke I posted and, indeed, the same picture shows when I copied from waarmstrong's post # 202, which he apparently doesn't see, on my post #204.

All this confusion could have been avoided if someone had accurately instructed me by PM or otherwise. By the time Theoros gave his explanation it was too late for me to delete or edit and, due to my lack of knowledge of internet, I led myself to think I'd been hacked and thus reported to the moderators.

In hindsight I'm not sure how I managed to post the picture because I normally follow the postimage site...just as I did below and yesterday to post a pic of my backscratcher on another thread.

Re: Davita is a blonde?
Sadly no...although I do confess to having better hair than my avatar and, in the sunlight and rose sunglasses it could look a little yellowish, but I'm definitely NOT a blondie. My wife is gracious enough to say I'm a silver-fox but, as you can see below, her eyesight, like mine.... ain't so good....

 

[El_Goretto]

The above picture shows, the previous one doesn't.

For you, they both show because the first one is from YOUR AOL account where YOU are logged in.

But for the rest of us the first one doesn't show because we do NOT have access to your AOL account.

Just right click on the last image above then select "open in a new tab/window" or something like that. Then look at address in that new tab or window, it will show:

https://s8.postimg.org/9kh9to5it/IMG-20170830-_WA0001.jpg

With your first image, doing the same action shows us that the image address is an AOL webmail address, letting us deduct that it is from YOUR AOL email to which, I repeat, none of us have access.

The only difference is that on your screen you see the image, on our screen we see an icon of a broken image. But right clicking on that broken image still gives us information.

Either way, no big deal. I, too, thought it was funny and kinda ironical considering your last joke. "L'arroseur arrosé!" like we say where I come from.