As a first gen American with parents from Alexandria, Egypt I got my first taste of living abroad after the revolution in Egypt. I arrived in Alexandria, with the intention of staying for good, when there was no president or congress. I kept my grandma company, got a job myself in a BPO, and made friends while improving my Arabic.
After the coup, I headed back to the USA with some serious perspective and confidence. I went back to school, got a degree, started working in HR for a DoD contractor.
About 3 weeks into the job my little brother died in his sleep from a heart attack. I am the oldest and since our father had died when I was 12, I was the head male of the house. Although nobody ever listened to me. Surprisingly, I held it together, was there for my mother and siblings. My younger brother decided to move in with my mother and I, with his doberman.
I was always looking for a wife, met a few and their parents in the USA and Egypt but I felt like something is seriously wrong with them. According to the UN, Egyptian women are ranked #2 worldwide for beating their husbands. Also, I do believe the song is true, "American woman". So I looked online.
My brother and I are good now, but there was some serious friction in that house. A couple of altercations between us, too.
One day, a messaged popped up from an Indonesian girl saying "hi". She had no picture on her profile. We chatted for a few days. Got into an argument. Went a week or so without talking, then started taking again.
I decided that I need to go see her in person. I arrived, the first time in 2017, with only general information about Indonesia. Never been to Asia. Never even considered going to Asia.
I stayed 3 weeks, I met her family and we got engaged. I flew back to the USA with a plan to get a teaching certificate and a job lined up then come back. I arrived in August 2018, worked with EF in Tang City Mall for 1 year then started teaching online just before the pandemic.
It's now 2025, I am still here, and we have 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl. My wife wants to travel but not take US citizenship. We haven't gotten my kids citizenship either. I don't have any Indonesian friends, so my students are like my friends, in some ways. My grasp of the language is pathetic as I am not really trying. I can get by with a few words by adding "asi" at the end, like immigrasi. Can give directions but mix them up sometimes. A lot of hand gestures and Google translate.
I do plan to stay or maybe move to another country for a short time but not the USA, EU, or Aussie. It's not like the movies where they save the world. I am glad, we are not complicit. I am a patriot and can't shake the American out of me, but I will visit only for less than 31 days so I don't pay taxes.
Last time I visited, I found my friends had gotten old. Like one needed a chair all the time. I was also worried about getting shot randomly. But I did love driving on the highway. Eating turkey sandwiches. The smell of fresh cut grass. And, the start of fall with the crisp air.
Self imposed exile is lonely but I find comfort in the thought that that I say to myself, "no one does what you do". I think in many ways we are lucky to have escaped.
