Punishment for women who don't want to wear jilbab

[Bob]

Why not ask him? Most likely he'd explain the change. That's more accurate and better than deduction by gossip.

 

[Nimbus]

A male staff in my office was a handsome young man, well-groomed and clean-shaven. Active in his motorcycle club, and into body-building. His wife was a model-like beauty, long hair, no hijab, and a housewife taking care of her kids. As they live with the wife’s parents, it could be the grandmother taking care of their grandchildren. So possibly plenty of free-time for the wife at home, or time spent outside the house. One day, at a company gathering where you bring your spouse, we were shocked to see her wearing a niqab. We can only see her eyes, and we cannot shake her hand anymore. Sometime later, the husband starts growing his beard and he wears ‘celana banjir’ after work. He is also spending more time to pray. Our conclusion (never asked him), he is influenced by his wife who got inspired by some teachings either online or in person.

There’s no way to predict a heart change. I have known guys and gals who transformed in the other direction. It rarely happens out of the blue though, there’s usually a sudden big event or a long growing series of small influences in that direction. We’re just not privy to that information.

 

[Pilgrimrunner]

What about women who choose to wear it ?

I personally think that no (or very few) women choose to wear it, they are made to wear it from a very early age so are indoctrinated or pressured into it by their parents and therefore grow up believing it’s what they have to do. In my opinion anyway.
My wife doesn’t wear one but prays regularly and is teaching our kids to pray also. By the way, I don’t let my young daughter wear a hijab. Later when she is older and is more knowledgeable she can make her own mind up.

 

[Dave70]

Why not ask him? Most likely he'd explain the change. That's more accurate and better than deduction by gossip.

Are you kidding? Ask him like why are you growing your beard, or why wear 'celana banjir', or why niqab is being worn by your wife now? Who is your religion’s Billy Graham which obviously changed your life so much. In Indonesia, you learn not to talk about the faith of others. But we knew him long enough to make the conclusion. And it was clear that the wife changed first before he himself changed. How? Don’t underestimate the power of religion. As everybody knows, teachings can be done through the internet or in personal/group meetings.

 

[Bob]

Are you kidding? Ask him like why are you growing your beard, or why wear 'celana banjir', or why niqab is being worn by your wife now? Who is your religion’s Billy Graham which obviously changed your life so much. In Indonesia, you learn not to talk about the faith of others. But we knew him long enough to make the conclusion. And it was clear that the wife changed first before he himself changed. How? Don’t underestimate the power of religion. As everybody knows, teachings can be done through the internet or in personal/group meetings.

He may well have responded positively to a friendly and well worded question. There's no way to know otherwise. Of course a positive response would be more likely if the team at work was socially close, Drawing conclusions as a group about someone's personal life, without consulting that someone when he's right there, won't necessarily give the correct answer and may do that someone a disservice. Just my two cents.

 

[Missnaughty]

I don’t wear hijab but I don’t give a hug to any men. Handshake is enough. Wear hijab but give a man a hug.. Oh well!!

 

[MamangDudul]

I remember a good friend from Jakarta who also always gave me a hug and was wearing a hijab. I knew her and her husband well and even he didnt mind it. Then a while after their marriage they went through the same transformation as already described in this thread. She also is fully covered now and out of natural respect I wouldnt dare to touch her in any way now. While I still have a normal and friendly contact with her husband I dont have any contact with her anymore. It is something that saddens me since she also was a close friend to my wife and we always had the best of times together as friends. While some stayed the same, others changed for whatever reason and it is kinda hard to adress these kind of things.

I also remember some female friends from when I was in Kalimantan and some of them also hugged me without hesitation. Dont know if it would be different now. On the other side my brother in laws wife, with a chinese and catholic background, never hugged me and finds it inappropiate. Whatever it is, it is fine with me since Iam kinda shy and dont run around hugging people out of my own inniative. Usually it just comes naturally if it happens.
Yeah just kinda strange to see in what way some people change.

 

[stt_cibubur]

I don't wear hijab , never have, my motto is My way My style and mind your own mind ( mainly the guys mind when they sees women flesh) . I do give a hug to the western friends/colleagues, but only handshake to Indo guys except family and very close friends. I have many friends with hijab on , but I wont take them as a good example, some are smokers, drinker and some even followed me to a club with hijab on .. ooh well. .speechless! What punishment will I get because I wore bikini ? LOL

 

[nd_eric_77]

Well, I guess I will step into it... My attitude about jilbabs: "You do you, but you d*mn well not tell my Christian wife or daughter to wear one." Aesthetically, I have never seen a woman for whom a jilbab was an improvement over her natural hair. IMHO, women pretty much look worse when wearing a jilbab (even the supposedly high-fashion ones). Wear a jilbab if you want, but it is doing you no favors in the appearance department.
Niqabs are a whole other kettle of fish. Niqabs are a symbol of a hideously sexist worldview and thus are simply hideous on multiple levels.
Of course, I never express any of these opinions out loud. That is what Internet forums are for!!!

 

[Vulgarian]

Wear a jilbab if you want, but it is doing you no favors in the appearance department.

This has to be satire

 

[nd_eric_77]

This has to be satire

I legitimately find natural hair to be far more attractive than a jilbab. It is irrelevant, as I am happily married, but when has a jilbab ever actually made someone prettier? IMHO, it is like a guy wearing a neon pink suit. His choice, but it does not make him more attractive. These opinions are only regarding a veil as an article of clothing, regardless of religion. (reminder: Catholic nuns also wear veils... partly in order for their appearance to be muted.)

 

[harryopal1]

Perhaps the beach most illustrates the intrinsic unfairness of the imposition of the hijab. Hot day with children and husband lightly attired and the woman clad head to foot with dark clothing absorbing the sun's heat.

 

[gemima]

I legitimately find natural hair to be far more attractive than a jilbab. It is irrelevant, as I am happily married, but when has a jilbab ever actually made someone prettier? IMHO, it is like a guy wearing a neon pink suit. His choice, but it does not make him more attractive. These opinions are only regarding a veil as an article of clothing, regardless of religion. (reminder: Catholic nuns also wear veils... partly in order for their appearance to be muted.)

To be honest the jilbab wearers don't care whether you think it makes them more/ less attractive. I certainly am not walking around worrying about appearing pretty to random men (I'm not a jilbab-wearing female tho...but the whole point of hair covering is not linked with attracting men).

 

[nd_eric_77]

To be honest the jilbab wearers don't care whether you think it makes them more/ less attractive. I certainly am not walking around worrying about appearing pretty to random men (I'm not a jilbab-wearing female tho...but the whole point of hair covering is not linked with attracting men).

I fully acknowledged this when I said that my opinion is irrelevant. People are allowed to have aesthetic opinions, and people are allowed to summarily ignore those opinions. I even mentioned that these are opinions I do not share publicly outside of Internet forums.

 

[nd_eric_77]

For what it's worth, I also think that guys look better with short hair; in my opinion, long hair is never an improvement to guys' appearances. It is even more irrelevant, as not only am I happily married but I would not be attracted to guys regardless of my marital status.

 

[Helpful Herbert]

Well, I guess I will step into it... My attitude about jilbabs: "You do you, but you d*mn well not tell my Christian wife or daughter to wear one." Aesthetically, I have never seen a woman for whom a jilbab was an improvement over her natural hair. IMHO, women pretty much look worse when wearing a jilbab (even the supposedly high-fashion ones). Wear a jilbab if you want, but it is doing you no favors in the appearance department.
Niqabs are a whole other kettle of fish. Niqabs are a symbol of a hideously sexist worldview and thus are simply hideous on multiple levels.
Of course, I never express any of these opinions out loud. That is what Internet forums are for!!!

I think jilbab-wearers do actually believe it makes them more attractive, as it signals they are willing to stop anyone other than their husbands seeing their naughty bits, which is important to an insecure husband. Of course the reality can be very different, and the idea of "unwrapping the present" can be seen as provocative.

 

[Nimbus]

Well, I have several possible explanations on their hugging me.

• They really consider me a close friend
• They think I have become an American and treated me accordingly
• My dashing good looks

I prefer the last one, but the first two are more likely.

 

[fastpitch17]

I think jilbab-wearers do actually believe it makes them more attractive, as it signals they are willing to stop anyone other than their husbands seeing their naughty bits, which is important to an insecure husband. Of course the reality can be very different, and the idea of "unwrapping the present" can be seen as provocative.

Or they feel it is fashion. Let us not forget the ones that make you go, hhhh. You start at the feet and see a modern styled athletic shoe, you go up and discover a rather form fitting pant that outlines what lies beneath to the exact dimensions, raising your eyes a bit a shirt comes into view where it starts protruding outward proudly, raising your eyes a bit more it appears, the hijab. Now, I find nothing wrong with this and these 70 year old eyes even if a bit fuzzy like what they see.

When sitting in a restaurant with my adoring wife and she shes one dressed as such she will bring it to my attention with a OMG, can you believe that. I always respond that I see and that yes, I do believe that. She makes it sound like someone is breaking all the rules at once. I simply remind her that it was only 10 years ago when she was in her late 50s that she herself was running around in shorts that were more revealing. She tells me that was different. I remind her that at the beach she still wears a bikini, same reply, that's different. So, you can take a body out of Indonesia and it will adapt. No so much the mind when it comes to other women.

When we first came my wife's sister tried to put a hijab on her. You would have thought it suddenly became WWIII. That just wasn't going to happen. Today would be the same reaction except when she is wearing a sari formally. She pays too much to keep that hair the redish she likes and no one is going to cover that up. Want to hear a woman cuss like a sailor, listen to before we go out someplace and she starts in on how she has to wear a bra. I tell her to just not worry and let the puppy dog noses show. Nope, can't be having people judge. So, she cusses. Ahh, fashion.

 

[Samoerai]

Egypt bans niqabs in schools, allowing students to choose hijab

Educators urged to implement policy to take effect on Sept. 30 with kindness, sensitivity

gulfnews.com

 

[Dave70]