Mixed marriage/relationships- aka Oh those idiosyncrasies

[Bad_azz]

My husband likes
"cleaning the grass, honey" (I call it weeding)

Me:What are you doing? - Him: "I'm looking looking"

There is a street near our house that I am not permitted to drive him down at night- "hantu, honey, scary!"

Buttering bread with a spoon...??? (spoon having been taken from the slot in the drawer directly next to knives)

Travels an hour across the city late at night on the back of a mate's bike, gets off 10 mins from home and sleeps at his mum's house because he is "takut of *****'s driving" & comes home the next day.

Half-inches everything I own, tries on my shoes, tshirts , hoodies, big fluffy dressing gown claims anything he likes as his own- those of you who have seen the pair of us- yeah like my stuff is gonna fit his short-skinny ass.

Expects me to sit around for hours when he socialises with HIS mates, but pop that boot on the other foot & you get sulks for the rest of the day.


Anyone else???? or have I just saddled myself with a weirdo?

 

[William King]

uhuh.

Mine loves kittens, but doesn't want cats. Nope, sorry, you feed the kitten, now you look after the cats, dear!

 

[fastpitch17]

My wife is so Westernized that she complains more about Indonesia then I do.

 

[Bad_azz]

Mine won't eat eggs from our chickens... but will eat the shop bought ones
When asked why: Because like eating children of our pets honey.....

I have yet to discuss what eggs really are...

 

[Bad_azz]

My wife is so Westernized that she complains more about Indonesia then I do.

Yeah, odd innit. My hubby loves Singapore, because it is so clean. Personally I find it very dull & boring.

 

[fastpitch17]

Yeah, odd innit. My hubby loves Singapore, because it is so clean. Personally I find it very dull & boring.

My wife is a clean freak too and living here is like a personal battle against the Earth. Plus, not a single insect is allowed within 3 feet of the house.

 

[HappyMan]

My wife is so Westernized that she complains more about Indonesia then I do.

You're lucky. My endless litany of complaints gets either explained away or filed under "negative attitude". I'm occasionally touted as a bad guy because I don't see the value in paying someone (who probably can't drive) to tell me how to park my car. It's not that the wife has rosy glasses for Indonesia, it's just that she would rather focus on methods of improvement, whereas I would rather rant for a few minutes and then go on about my day. I'd definitely be lost without her, spiraling in a cycle of inexplicable inconvenience that would have me hating life here or leaving. Thing is, in spite of all my ranting, I actually do like it here, I just need someone to tell me when my allowance of complaints is filled so I can get back to appreciating the things i like.

 

[Pak Asam Manis]

My husband likes
"cleaning the grass, honey" (I call it weeding)

Me:What are you doing? - Him: "I'm looking looking"

There is a street near our house that I am not permitted to drive him down at night- "hantu, honey, scary!"

Buttering bread with a spoon...??? (spoon having been taken from the slot in the drawer directly next to knives)

Travels an hour across the city late at night on the back of a mate's bike, gets off 10 mins from home and sleeps at his mum's house because he is "takut of *****'s driving" & comes home the next day.

To be fair, some of these are easily explained as simple cultural or linguistic differences, and probably only seem like "idiosyncrasies" because of an ethno-centric view:

"cleaning the grass": granted, this is not the way a native English speaker would express or describe this action, but it is typical Indonesian construction / expression for the idea ... my wife certainly commits many of the same or similar misdemeanors ... I think they are kind of "cute" myself and get a giggle out of them. We can say "cleaning the floor" in English, so why not "cleaning the grass"?

"looking looking": the Indonesian expression is "lihat lihat" so what is wrong with "looking looking"? I sometimes catch myself talking like this (even in English) to my wife when no other English speaker is around to slap my wrist. I also occasionally find myself referring to an inanimate object as "he" or "him" ("dia"), believe it or not ...

"buttering bread with a spoon": hey, Indonesians eat with a spoon and fork (more often, just with their right hand); they rarely if ever use knives as eating utensils, in my experience, so this seems natural enough to me, and since spoons typically outnumber knives in our kitchen by at least 5:1, I often grab a spoon to spread something on bread myself. Gets the job done, so where's the crime?

"there is a street near our house ...": this kind of superstitious belief / concern is just typical of the culture(s) ... once when we went to bukit lawang, my wife refused to "boomboom" at night, for no apparent reason ... I got a bit cross with her about this at the time, since she couldn't or wouldn't clearly express a reason. She explained to me later that she could feel - strongly - the spirits of the jungle "watching" and it made her feel uncomfortable and "malu" ... she was dead serious and I certainly can believe that jungles have spirits in them, so (shrug)

On the other foot:

Half-inches everything I own, tries on my shoes, tshirts , hoodies, big fluffy dressing gown claims anything he likes as his own- those of you who have seen the pair of us- yeah like my stuff is gonna fit his short-skinny ass.

Sorry, you're on your own on this one ... looks like you got a weirdo there haha. My wife occasionally wears some of my clothes (mainly t-shirts and occasionally boxers), but it rarely goes the other way (well our relative size makes that a practical impossibility)

 

[Bad_azz]

Oh, I don't say there is anything wrong with anything- it amuses me
I find it very endearing.

 

[kimdub]

In no particular order.

Ice cubes in a drink gives you a cold.

If I barbecue a nice piece of meat, the family and friends will sit there trying to cut it with a spoon with a fork stabbed in it instead of using the knife sitting right by the plate

Asking the wife if she is ready to go and the answer is yes, Half hour later, asking if she is ready and get the reply..... yes, just let me get ready.

 

[Supir Angkot]

My wifey also takes forever to get ready to leave the house to go to arisan, selametan and whatnot but I give her props for looking younger than her age

 

[Jaime C]

In no particular order.

Ice cubes in a drink gives you a cold.

If I barbecue a nice piece of meat, the family and friends will sit there trying to cut it with a spoon with a fork stabbed in it instead of using the knife sitting right by the plate

Asking the wife if she is ready to go and the answer is yes, Half hour later, asking if she is ready and get the reply..... yes, just let me get ready.

I'll be ready in 30 minutes means, hopefully I'll be ready in 2 hours. 100% serious on this one.

 

[Bowsaw]

Ditto. If the floor isnt "swiped n mopped" 3 times a day and the road watered god forbid.

 

[OomBen]

I get hot sometimes at sit with the fan blowing on me to cool off. Quick way to get masuk angin they say.

I go to take a shower but there's only a bucket and a faucet that has cold water. Is masuk angin an issue or not?

Once I had the flu and someone suggested kerokan. I tried it and all i got from that was pain, red stripes, and no affect on my flu.

The skin on my neck got scaly for some reason... the cure for this was to put mentholated baby powder on it. It burned, i ran to my shower and rinsed it off. I think some got on my sensitive bits and it burned a little but not nearly as bad as my neck.

Another time I tripped at the top of the stairs in our house and my toe got jammed pretty good. I managed to keep the damage to a minimum but my big toe turned purple. Indonesian family member told me to go to pijat urut, "The toe needs to get worse before it gets better."

I know there's more... but these are the ones that come to mind.

 

[dafluff]

Yeah...what is the deal with masuk angin? Apparently it is worse if your hair is wet...

Is there any medical research that suggests having your wet hair in the wind causes symptoms of masuk angin? I have always taken that at face value since my mother used to fuzz over getting masuk angin all the time, and only later found out that it is not a universally held belief....hahaha.

 

[BAJakarta]

funny thing is, I know there is no science behind it, but in my experience the wet hair thing has some truth....if I go to sleep with wet hair (without covering it) and aircon/fan blowing on it, I inevitably wake up sick.....I have had this experience for many years.....occasionally I "forget" and do it again and almost always the same result. So usually I either wait for it to dry or cover my wet hair with something....and then no problem

 

[ChrisTex]

Instead of saying if a place's food is good, my wife says it is delicious.

My wife insists I use the broom to sweep the bed before making it.

when we are at the store, it is can you buy this for me instead of can I get this.

 

[Bad_azz]

Squirrel will do "wise" husband mode at times...
I might have cooked up some European delight in the kitchen & he will taste it or smell it- I say eat, he replies "ohh, full up Honey" & 5 minutes later goes to grab a pack of Indomie
I wonder what he thinks I would do to him if he just said "ewwwww that is rankl!"

 

[Jaime C]

Yes, being honest about cooking is tough with an Indonesian spouse.

I love my wife's cooking, but she experiments, and it doesn't always turn out good. I'm honest, because I don't like to eat stuff that's not tasty. If I compliment it when it's crap, I'll just have to eat it again!

Luckily 90% of her food is very good or better.

 

[aprilliano]

I could well sign that @Jaime