How to ask someone to delete unwanted photo of me?

[Jinx_15]

So to be honest, I never meet this person and we chat intensely for months..

I enjoyed the chat and we have our ups and downs.. but turns out he was not what I thought before.. so in a heated convo I asked him to stopped contacting me..

He tried several times to engage in conversations but again he failed and it only made angrier..

In the last chat with him, I said I'd block him for good and suddenly he sent me this 'sexy' photos of me which actually he screenshot while we had video call.. (I knew it stupid of me to gave him that online-ly but I never thought he'd take a screenshots from our video call)

I asked him to delete it but he kinda asked me to do something impossible.. any suggestions about this?

And what's the norm of this in digital world?

Ughhhh.. he already said it's for his personal enjoyment but I'm afraid my photos will leak..

 

[steveandpenny]

Don't ever share a picture on the Internet that you don't want the world to see. Sorry

 

[CaturMuka]

Here's an article that might help:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/patrick-ambron/what-to-do-when-youre-the_b_7641154.html

In English, this sort of behaviour is called "Revenge Porn". Here's a Google search to get you started:

https://www.google.com.sg/search?q=revenge+porn

I would try and avoid starting any sort of feud, but you should make it clear that you'll go to the authorities if he continues to harass you, then stop/block any sort of contact. You should keep a record of any and all communications from now on.

Hope that helps.

 

[Jinx_15]

Just want to clarify that I do know not to post my photos online

And yes I will from now on limited my video call sessions with anyone and mind my action

But now, I want to know how to prevent the unwanted damage?

Is there any law where I could send to him in case he threaten me again?

From what I've read both from the link and from my google search, because it's not my selfies, I don't have the copyright on me.. If that's true, how should I proceed?

 

[Daniel50]

It depends which country you are in. They all may have different laws and protections. You would need to know the laws for his jurisdiction. It may also depend on your age.

 

[Anglian]

If it's Indonesia, have a care if you go to the authorities as it could rebound on you, but I do hope you can resolve your problem

 

[dafluff]

I asked him to delete it but he kinda asked me to do something impossible.. any suggestions about this?

I'm not understanding this sentence...

Anyway, since he took the "photos" I don't think you can compel him to delete them. Even if it was possible, how can you possibly check every data storage he has access to? You may have a case if he ever actually spreads them on the Internet, since that is against Indonesian law.

Once they're out in the internet, there is nothing you can do really.

 

[atlantis]

As it has been said earlier, you need to start to tell us WHERE the guy leaves and where you are based. If he leaves in Indonesia, you MAY have a lead if he has threaten you but to be honest it would require you to also leave here in order to fill a formal coplaint and more importantly, to keep an eye on the way the police deal with it.

Dealing with the police here is a tad different from what it may be in other countries. However, online written threats can have someone landing in hot water, especially if his/her profile is interesting for cops (easily identifiable, apparent wealth, clear and traceable threats, ...etc).

Your ability to communicate in Bahasa Indonesia is obviously of importance. If you can't, you have very little chance to get such case being dealt with.

 

[Jinx_15]

I'm not understanding this sentence...

Well, let's just say he asked me to do immoral things.. Something I'd never do but not something against the law.. Do you think I can bargain with him at least to make sure he'd not spread the screenshots?

And I do know Indonesian law kinda messy but do you think I can assume I'll be okay since I think there's also a case where the indonesian actor accidentally share their hot video? and only the actor get punishment?

and to answer atlantis question, I live in Indonesia but he's back and forth between Indo and Aus

 

[Daniel50]

There is a law here Undang-Undang ITE, Pasal 27 tentang pencemaran nama baik it relates to information and electronic transaction ITE. You could do some bluffing. I am not a lawyer and I don't know what this guy is like but it sounds like it is your goal to get as much assurance as possible from him, as dafluff indicated pretty difficult to ensure.

 

[Daniel50]

Also, you could tell him the Australian Police may be interested to know he is displaying this type of grooming and sexual exploitation on the internet.


Here is an article on grooming including adults to adults. Don't be too hard on yourself.

http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/grooming

 

[Anglian]

If he is an Australian resident, I'm sure the Australian police would be very interested in him, who knows maybe he has entrapped others,

 

[Davita]

I'm with Anglian....and others.

Don't be the victim...if you know his name, address and other personal information tell him...unless he deletes your pics you will make a formal complaint to the Police and Social Services in his district of Australia.

Say you will present to them, using his emails to you that are relevant, of his prediliction of stalking the internet of young girls for sex pictures.....and give him 2 weeks to comply.

If he doesn't respond favourably...just DO IT! You have nothing to lose...but he surely does!

 

[CaturMuka]

I live in Indonesia but he's back and forth between Indo and Aus

You're in luck if he's from Victoria or South Australia, but the other states are currently in the process of drafting these "Revenge Porn" laws.

However, I don't know how you'd actually go about making a complaint as an Indonesian living in Indonesia. Probably better used as a bluff than a reality.

 

[Jinx_15]

Also, you could tell him the Australian Police may be interested to know he is displaying this type of grooming and sexual exploitation on the internet.


Here is an article on grooming including adults to adults. Don't be too hard on yourself.

http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/grooming

wow thanks for the link.. I'll check it out first..

I'm trying to not play victim but currently i'm in bigger dilemma because he's gone MIA.. I really want to block him but do you guys think it'll only fuel his anger and make him release the pics?

For Davita comment unfortunately I only know his name and personal information but no address.. Do you think it's still possible?

 

[fastpitch17]

Chances are he won't release anything and is just using the threat to get more from you. More that you will not supply. You can get the Indonesian authorities involved and make a complaint that he threatened to release things but until he does, there will be nothing they can do about it and would only be able to if and when he stepped foot on Indonesian soil. Same for Australia, he needs to release them before they can do anything about it unless they take the angle that he is trying to blackmail you for additional things. I have no idea what he is asking from you but you say it's not illegal but immoral. If it's immoral then in all likelihood here it is illegal. Especially if you have to send him something.

You might as well keep the communication open to see what he says to you and if any are threats. No need to get in a conversation about anything. You say he visits Indonesia and if he mentions he is coming then you can always play his game and tell him that's good. The authorities will be waiting for him.

He may post them someplace. Chances are you will never see them as well as anyone you have ever met in your life. If you do know where they get posted, find the pics, contact the hosting site and insist they are acquired illegally and insist on their removal. I knew someone in the US this happened to. After she found out she got the pictures removed rather easily because in the US, just because you take a picture of a person, you don't own it without their written permission. Not sure of the copyright laws here or in Australia. A professional photographer here could fill you in on that.

So. let him do it if he does but don't give him additional material. Call his bluff.

 

[Davita]

wow thanks for the link.. I'll check it out first..

I'm trying to not play victim but currently i'm in bigger dilemma because he's gone MIA.. I really want to block him but do you guys think it'll only fuel his anger and make him release the pics?

For Davita comment unfortunately I only know his name and personal information but no address.. Do you think it's still possible?

You say he is MIA, and you don't know where he lives, so I doubt anyone can take any action unless he does something illegal like posting them somewhere public.

I agree with fastpitch. If he does correspond threaten to report him to Indonesian police as a predator...and they'll be waiting at immigration for his next visit.

I'll bet he'll shit himself and be very happy to delete your pics, and all other connection he's ever had with you.

That's what you want....right?

 

[Daniel50]

He got some pics, he tried to move it to another level, you refused, he became abusive/controlling, using threats to try to get what he wants and to gain control of you. It was suggested above about threatening with Indonesian legal. You could also add, you have his name and Australian authorities could be very interested in his actions. Tell him you will notify both if he shows any pics. Tell him to get rid of them.

 

[fastpitch17]

Indonesian porn laws in English.

http://www.indonesiamatters.com/2474/porn-laws/

Now, if he publishes pictures of you while being in Australia, than in all likelihood there is nothing Indonesia can do about it. It would be out of their jurisdiction where the crime took place. Also, be aware that Indonesian authorities could easily turn this back on you for your actions that could be made public. It is also not uncommon for Indonesia police when they get their hands on pictures like this to pass them around themselves. Sorry, that is just reality.

 

[Jinx_15]

I'll bet he'll shit himself and be very happy to delete your pics, and all other connection he's ever had with you.

That's what you want....right?

Haha.. yeah right.. I just want to stop the 'abusive' treatment and only want some peace that my photos won't be up in any search engines..

Well, I think like Daniel said he tried to abuse and control me with that pics and I'm kinda scared he will go crazy if I ignore his chat

I think I'll use fastpitch idea to keep open the communication line but only to see what his next action