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- Jul 19, 2016
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You must be a miracle maker.No need for confrontations. No need to pull your hair out. No need to waste time. You just need to be firm at the start and go forward on their right foot.
You must be a miracle maker.No need for confrontations. No need to pull your hair out. No need to waste time. You just need to be firm at the start and go forward on their right foot.
Hi Magnum, I am happy that you have found a good woman and want to take the relationship to the next level. A quick background about me. I have lived in Indonesia twice for a total of 4 years. Things didn't work out for me in Indonesia the first time as I expected, so I moved back home after 2 years. After retirement my wife and I decided to move to Indonesia because as you mentioned, the cost of living is cheaper. There are a few important points I want to briefly discuss. They are Cost of Living, Developing Country Status, Different Culture, Property Ownership, Jobs and Working as a foreigner, and Having Kids. These are the areas which will be completely alien and perhaps backwards to you as an outsider from a settled country.Hello,
I’m new here because I need your help and advice.
I’ve been browsing the internet now for hours and still couldn't find an answer.
First my story. I wanna make it as short as possible:
I’m 28 years old from Germany and 1,5 years ago I met a woman from Indonesia (on an internet chat). I visited Indonesia last January for 1 month to meet her and her family to really wanna make sure if I want to marry her. Everything was great and we decided to get married (Yes we have the same religion). Of course it was not that casual, we’ve been talking every day and we are sure that we wanna be together but thats not the topic here now.
Initially the plan was to live in Germany and some years later move to Indonesia. During the past months we figured out that it makes no sense that we live in Germany due to the ridiculously high costs of living and some other things that would bother us here. For us it would be much better to live in Indonesia for many personal reasons and not even waste time and money here in Germany including the visa procedure.
I already have saved up enough money to buy a house in Indonesia and I’ve been learning Bahasa Indonesia for some moths. So I thought that I was almost set, I just wanted to wait until the Corona crisis is over and then I would be ready to move there.
Now my problem:
I found out that I cannot legally work there even if I’m married to her. I found out quite late because I have never thought of that there would be a problem. From Europe I’m used to that there are no restrictions in terms of working when you are married to a citizen, so I naively never wasted any thoughts on that.
One of the main reasons why I wanted to move to Indonesia was because I wanted to open a small business as a freelancer. I don’t think it is important what exactly because if I’m not allowed to legally work there, there might not even a point in working there at all because I probably have to work for many many years to come and I might have to change my profession or whatever I wanna do there. But under such circumstances I cannot plan to stay there for the rest of my life and earn money that way. It might work on the short term but it has no sustainability.
I wanna live normally with my house and wife and work. I don’t leave my country to have a more complicated live that I already have here.
Yes I have read that it’s like a grey zone to be a freelancer but seriously, I cannot build my future on ‘being in a grey zone and stay inconspicuous as possible’. I just cannot leave everything behind and start over under such circumstances. My business that I wanna do can’t work under such conditions and it’s not the way I wanna life.
I wanted to move to Indonesia to start a new life and do the things that I cannot do here but now I found out this.
Has anyone help or advice for me?
You have much more experience and I bet I’m not the first person facing this dilemma.
I don’t know it feels like my dream shattered because I was really looking forward to moving and living there.
How risky is this all?
Of course I still wanna marry this woman but this all is not going to make it easier for us.
Yes, I am aware that it’s not everywhere necessarily cheap.You really need to do your homework for what things cost in the various areas.
I did not say that I want to move there next week. One of the reasons why I came to this forum is to get more knowledge and understanding.Really, you need to prepare yourself much more before ever thinking about working here.
I’m also aware of that and that a vacation has nothing do do with the real life there.Do your homework. All of it. This isn't paradise no matter what the tourist ministry says. jmho
Why would a wedding be so expensive? We don’t marry for show and impress other people how big the wedding is.Just get married in the EU. If her parents are financially sound, they can attend. A ticket for her will be cheaper than a wedding here. A lot.
I know that can be a problem especially for me who is not used to interfering family.Read some past post about family influences.
This is a very good tip I will definitely do it that way in case I really go there.At least live together first in a rented place. And even with a house. Rent it then see what's wrong with it and then make an offer. Never buy a house without living in it first
If your thought processes are so simplistic that you can lump all "western women" into one category, you really shouldn't be contemplating marriage
I don’t wanna make it a religious debate but yes, you are right, it does play a role. I am religious enough that the parents are ok the way it is. They never asked anything about my practices.Magnum, are you also very religious?
I am also happy for that despite all the difficulties that come along with it. (I hope she will never read this because she would say that I can leave if she means difficulties to me haha)Hi Magnum, I am happy that you have found a good woman and want to take the relationship to the next level
As a tourist, things may seem easy on the surface
But I cannot stay just for a job because this company I work for also does not care about me. A job is something I do temporarily for money. And even if I go back to Germany without job, it would also not mean the end of the world. I could find a new one if I’m not going to be to picky.but when your job back home is gone, then you may have trouble
Yes, true. But if I want to live like a westerner I have to stay in Europe. I know that I cannot have the same quality of housing, healthcare, infrastructure for just a fragment of the price.Certainly there are benefits here but you need to understand that this is not the EU
These two go together. You make the business which she owns a majority share of, then she employs you.I can work in my wife’s business and on the paper she would be my employer?
I can have my own (small) business but it would be in my wife’s name?
Just keep in mind that the yearly employment permit is approximately $1200 USD and filled with a lot of government bureaucracy. Perhaps better to just be a consultant which I believe you don't need a working permit if you have a Indonesia residence permit (ITAS).These two go together. You make the business which she owns a majority share of, then she employs you.
Freelancing as a grey area might be something like her setting up a freelance accounting business, in which you "help" to do the accounting work (as you are a trained accountant and she doesn't know how to use a spreadsheet).
I don't think he’s talking about a job that requires a yearly permit.Just keep in mind that the yearly employment permit is approximately $1200 USD and filled with a lot of government bureaucracy. Perhaps better to just be a consultant which I believe you don't need a working permit if you have a Indonesia residence permit (ITAS).
I don’t say that ALL women in the west are bad.
Ok now to my initial question. As far as I understood now there are several ways that would allow me to work there.
I can definitely forget to work in any company you made that very clear.
I can’t have an official work permit but working as a freelancer is a grey zone and tolerated.
I can work in my wife’s business and on the paper she would be my employer?
I can have my own (small) business but it would be in my wife’s name?
Men are from Mars, and woman are from Venus. To infer that they are from the same planet is surely blasphemy!But no, you had to mention that those other women were WESTERN. It is difficult to read that without suspecting that you have fallen prey to the stereotype that Western women are pushy and demanding, while Asian women are meek and obedient. This stereotype does no one any favors - not men of any nationality, not women of any nationality.
Perhaps to be the best in politically correctness, we should say "the creature I met is 100 times better than any other life form I ever dated".
Why would a wedding be so expensive? We don’t marry for show and impress other people how big the wedding is.
There has hardly been a backlash, you exagerate. I have no problem with Op having a preference for Asian women (or Indonesian women - or whatever kind of woman), I do think his comment gives us an insight into his reasoning for this marriage and life plan that does raise alarm bells around his maturity and I think thats all that Puspawarna is really getting at. I personally feel like he is being a bit foolish to consider marriage with someone he has spent 1 month with and to have put her on such a high pedestal already. But what do I know - maybe she is saintly and only has the best intentions towards Op.he certainly set himself up for a backlash
There has hardly been a backlash, you exagerate. ......."
That said, I feel sure that most people on the forum are trying to help Magnum understand the many problems with which he is confronted in aspiring to a new life with a new Indonesian wife in Indonesia. So Magnum, good luck but step lightly in forums as if you are walking on broken glass.
Yes I have already. It will be only small and cheap because neither I, nor she wants a big pompous wedding. The only condition is that they want it to take place in Indonesia, in their house. Their will be only the family and some close friends. I accept that because they raised her 26 years very well and would not just let her fly to Europe on her own without being married first. This in the house would only be the muslim ceremony, the legal wedding would take place in Germany because we first wanna live in Germany for a little while.As to the expense of a wedding ... be sure you talk to your fiancee and her family about their expectations.
Why would a wedding be so expensive? We don’t marry for show and impress other people how big the wedding is.
Sure, the parents would not allow her to marry a non-muslim because it would be embarrassing for them in their social circles.