Child Custody- 15 year old daughter

[Shibz76]

Hello everyone, I have a 15 year old daughter living in Depok with my ex and for the past 10 years I have struggled to keep in touch and see my child because of her mother. I want to see my options to take her to court to first get my rights as a father, to be able to talk to my daughter without her mother threatening her and secondly to see if I can get custody of my teenager.

I did visit last year without informing her mother and just showed up at the house and was able to spend some much needed time with my daughter. But since coming back her mother has started preventing us from communicating and has told me not to visit anymore.

I am not an Indonesian.

Are there any good lawyers with child custody experience that anyone can recommend?

My daughter has told me she wants to come live with me in the US.

Any help and guidance would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance!

 

[centurion]

Your rights depend on your marital status-were you in legal marriage or not,

 

[Shadrach]

Hello everyone, I have a 15 year old daughter living in Depok with my ex and for the past 10 years I have struggled to keep in touch and see my child because of her mother. I want to see my options to take her to court to first get my rights as a father, to be able to talk to my daughter without her mother threatening her and secondly to see if I can get custody of my teenager.

I did visit last year without informing her mother and just showed up at the house and was able to spend some much needed time with my daughter. But since coming back her mother has started preventing us from communicating and has told me not to visit anymore.

I am not an Indonesian.

Are there any good lawyers with child custody experience that anyone can recommend?

My daughter has told me she wants to come live with me in the US.

Any help and guidance would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance!

Good luck with this problem! The court system is usually always in the mother's favor, unless she is proven to be detrimental for the child's well being. And you being a foreigner and the mother Indonesian, the odds are really in her favor here! This is a huge problem even in America with both parents American? I hope someone on the forum can give you sound advice and a contact for a good lawyer, because you will need one! I had a similar situation and lost contact with a daughter for 16 years, until she was over 18 and could make her own decisions. Now we are in contact and I was able to pay for her first year learning to become a nurse! She has a daughter now, so I have a grandchild from her. We are all in a good relationship now, but it was a long painful journey, I hope you don't have to endure! Good luck!

 

[Shibz76]

Your rights depend on your marital status-were you in legal marriage or not,

I was legally married and also divorced.

 

[Shadrach]

I was legally married and also divorced.

If you were legally married then divorced, what were the custody rights determined by the courts for your child?

 

[Shibz76]

If you were legally married then divorced, what were the custody rights determined by the courts for your child?

We got divorced in Bangladesh and the child custody is a separate issue there. She ran off to Indonesia while the child custody case was at the courts. Never came back so the local courts didn’t have any jurisdiction to bring her back to Bangladesh.

 

[Shibz76]

Good luck with this problem! The court system is usually always in the mother's favor, unless she is proven to be detrimental for the child's well being. And you being a foreigner and the mother Indonesian, the odds are really in her favor here! This is a huge problem even in America with both parents American? I hope someone on the forum can give you sound advice and a contact for a good lawyer, because you will need one! I had a similar situation and lost contact with a daughter for 16 years, until she was over 18 and could make her own decisions. Now we are in contact and I was able to pay for her first year learning to become a nurse! She has a daughter now, so I have a grandchild from her. We are all in a good relationship now, but it was a long painful journey, I hope you don't have to endure! Good luck!

I am happy that things are good for you now. I have already missed so much of my daughter’s life I hate myself for it. If she never was with me it would be a different issue, she lived with me till she was 5 so it’s difficult and the pain is unbearable even after 10 years.

 

[Shadrach]

What nationality is your wife? Is she Bangladeshi or Indonesian? If she is Indonesian, what nationality is the child? what is the age limit for a child here, to be considered an adult to make her own decisions about who she wants to live with. What does her documentation say about her parents, is she considered half American? Does the wife have full custody legally? What about visitation rights?

 

[Shibz76]

What nationality is your wife? Is she Bangladeshi or Indonesian? If she is Indonesian, what nationality is the child? what is the age limit for a child here, to be considered an adult to make her own decisions about who she wants to live with. What does her documentation say about her parents, is she considered half American? Does the wife have full custody legally? What about visitation rights?

Ex wife is Indonesian. Child has Indonesian passport but also registered as a Bangladeshi citizen. Bangladeshi law won’t matter now she my daughter is in Indonesia now and has been there for 10 years now. My ex wife doesn’t have any custody or anything written from any of the courts. When she took off from Bangladesh and never returned the court in Bangladesh wasn’t able to give out a ruling in her absence so case was abandoned. That’s why I am seeking legal options in Indonesia.

I am a permanent legal resident in the US and I want to apply for my daughter. I asked her mother to let my daughter come to visit my ailing parents. But this is what she has done for the past 10 years and that’s play around and Control my daughter from talking to us. Despite all that she hasn’t succeeded in breaking our bond so she gets mad at that’s she has threatened my daughter to even stop communicating to me after she found out that my daughter and I were chatting on telegram. It’s all her way and nothing else matters. Even if that comes at the cost of my daughter being affected as a child and now a teenager. This has left her to be self doubting and have so many other issue. But all her mother cares about is to keep her away from me because that’s the only way she can hurt me.

 

[Shadrach]

Ex wife is Indonesian. Child has Indonesian passport but also registered as a Bangladeshi citizen. Bangladeshi law won’t matter now she my daughter is in Indonesia now and has been there for 10 years now. My ex wife doesn’t have any custody or anything written from any of the courts. When she took off from Bangladesh and never returned the court in Bangladesh wasn’t able to give out a ruling in her absence so case was abandoned. That’s why I am seeking legal options in Indonesia.

I am a permanent legal resident in the US and I want to apply for my daughter. I asked her mother to let my daughter come to visit my ailing parents. But this is what she has done for the past 10 years and that’s play around and Control my daughter from talking to us. Despite all that she hasn’t succeeded in breaking our bond so she gets mad at that’s she has threatened my daughter to even stop communicating to me after she found out that my daughter and I were chatting on telegram. It’s all her way and nothing else matters. Even if that comes at the cost of my daughter being affected as a child and now a teenager. This has left her to be self doubting and have so many other issue. But all her mother cares about is to keep her away from me because that’s the only way she can hurt me.

What is the legal age your daughter can make her own decisions here in Indonesia? Regardless of your ex-wife's anger towards you?

 

[Shibz76]

What is the legal age your daughter can make her own decisions here in Indonesia? Regardless of your ex-wife's anger towards you?

As per Indonesian laws that I read a girl who is over 12 can decide who she wants to live with. My daughter will be 15 this year.

 

[Shadrach]

If your daughter is of legal age to make her own decisions. Then Why doesn't your daughter come live with you now?

 

[Shibz76]

If your daughter is of legal age to make her own decisions. Then Why doesn't your daughter come live with you now?

Her mother is holding her passport. She is controlling every aspect of her life. She can’t just randomly take off.

 

[Shadrach]

Sounds like a difficult situation, good luck!

 

[Helpful Herbert]

Difficult situation, but at least with apps, phones etc. these days it is easy for you both to keep in touch, and not much the mother can do about it. In less than 3 years she'll be an adult anyway (although getting ID documents etc. might be a challenge even then if the mother is hiding them)

 

[Bob]

Consulting with an attorney would be prudent.

 

[Shadrach]

Why doesn't the daughter come live with you in Bali? She doesn't need a passport for that! Is she chained to the bed? Does she want to live with you here? I think there is more to this story than what you are presenting! Something smells fishy!

 

[Helpful Herbert]

Why doesn't the daughter come live with you in Bali? She doesn't need a passport for that! Is she chained to the bed? Does she want to live with you here? I think there is more to this story than what you are presenting! Something smells fishy!

He lives in the US, not Bali. She needs a passport to go to the US.

 

[Balifrog]

Question # 1 : Do you communicate with your daugther regulary (W.A., Line, Zoom...)
Question # 2 : Did she clearly mentionned she wants to join you ?

Note : As she is 15, I suppose she is in the Indo education with a level probably lower than US. What about her English ?
Need to think about that if you want to put her in a US school !

 

[Shadrach]

Sounds like a difficult situation, good luck!

Question # 1 : Do you communicate with your daugther regulary (W.A., Line, Zoom...)
Question # 2 : Did she clearly mentionned she wants to join you ?

Note : As she is 15, I suppose she is in the Indo education with a level probably lower than US. What about her English ?
Need to think about that if you want to put her in a US school !j

Very good point about English language! It is very difficult for foreigners coming from a different country with a different language. At the moment Spanish is the major foreign language taught in America. But at her age there are more broader language learning opportunities. There are many Indonesians living in the States now, so with the internet you might be able to join a chat group that can help you with this problem.