Bullying...any experience?

[Davita]

At age 15 and 3 months I was accepted into the RAF as the youngest in an entry of some 350 cadets. I was not only a young, immature cadet, but, most likely, one of the scrawniest.
Inter-rivarly competition was promoted in sports, leadership, teamwork and education,. I followed that path in gym and teamwork and...well, not too good in academics.
Elsewhere I noted a lack of coherent fellowship and some animosity...in fact...gangs. I had that insight because of the background I grew up in and was trying to escape. It became evident when the 'big-boys' would sashey around at night, unsupervised in the barracks, and....bully.

This occurred one evening in the 20 person barrack room comprising, including others, four exchange Pakistani cadets; one Burmese who was a martial arts expert; a gay guy called Guy who didn't know he was gay... and myself, the skinny Scottish 'barber' in the corner bed..
My 'tormentor', and his gang of sycophants, approached as I was preparing for sleep. They upturned my bed, which is a prelude to further bullying and, to which, I did not respond. I understood that bullies don't have any objective other than intimidation.
The gang were then 'slightly' overwhelmed as, smiling, and apologising for 'causing' their mess, I strode past....picked up a service ceremonial bayonet I had just finished shining for the 'morrow's parade... and stuck it into my big bully's belly.

Subsequently, of course, I was interviewed as to my aspirations and suitability to be in the RAF. I argued my point succinctly that I had defended myself from a bully and have a loyalty and attitude which Lord Trenchard (the father of the RAF) would admire in his cadets..
I had a very successful career over the following 22 years until retired....and fruitful beyond, in commercial aviation.

Bully-boy was ultimately dismissed from service as he had a record of misconduct. I have no idea his credibility or worth thereafter, but I do know he was 'scarred' for life.

Point of my story is.... never be bullied by anyone.

 

[atlantis]

Great post, Davita. Thank you.
I totally agree with your last sentence. Never give up, never bow to any form of bullying.

I ran into a number of would-be bullies in my life, be they gangsters/preman, jealous competitors or corrupted civil servants and managed to get the message understood. It sometimes took longer than expected but ultimately the message got across. In most cases it didn't change their life and general behavior but it has undoubtedly improved mine and allowed me to keep doing what I felt was good for my family without unwanted interference from parasites.

Long ago I had the visit of some preman who thought we needed some extra security here in Manado for our business operations. After a discussion with my wife, we politely declined their kind offer. A couple of months or so after we got two tons of rice stolen from the house compound. A short interval after another one and half ton went missing. Police of course was of no help (though i reckon they did their best to show that they were trying) but some people in the 'hood gave me crucial information to confirm my suspicion about who was at the origin of the burglary. I asked my guys to keep an eye on him an to inform me should they spot him anywhere alone. It took a few more weeks before that I had the information that the guy was home alone an evening. I took my baseball bat, parked the car in front of the house and "invited" him for a ride. He perhaps had the beating of his life and till this day he certainly still remind it whenever he walks. Since then we didn't have anyone who thought we needed extra security nor we had anything missing despite leaving valuable goods stored in easy place to be stolen. Perhaps it is unrelated with the above story, perhaps it is. One thing I know is that the story being amplified by mouth to mouth, it has helped to keep at bay many troublemakers. Fair enough to me.

I have said a few times in forums that I was considering becoming WNI. As strange as it may be, one of the reason ranking high for it would be to gain a better situation toward the law. As a WNA, if I badly beat the crap of a bully and if I was silly enough to have done it with witnesses around I would end up in jail AND deported. This would be dramatic for my family. As a WNI, the most I risk is jail. It's a huge difference and jail is not a deterrent for me to mitigate with the principles I have concerning bullies.

 

[Anglian]

Much like you Davita, I was the youngest and thinnest, how thin, 4" from a jacket and 9" from the great coat, oddly I had a protector, a 6'4" scot from the gorbals, since then always had a soft spot for scots, he carried a bycyle chain in his greatcoat when we were allowed out, I think the reason he was my protector is I was the only one who could understand him, I did get caught one day and had to clean everyone's boots and buttons in the billet, luckily one in the billet came from Norwich like me and said I didnt have to do anymore, so I had another protector, when I became a boy NCO I would not allow any junior entry into our Flight to do any bull, i met a chap from a junior entry, he said his entry were terrified of me as I marched our flight along, I didn't bully,but I did shout,it was the same at school a friend was being beaten, so I punched his bullier, he was quite tall, my punch landed in his throat, quite a startling effect , it stopped him dead, so we wandered off, I heard a shout, look out, I ducked and the chaps punch missed by inches, he went flying, so when he was on the ground we bouts gave him a good kicking, he never bothered us again, so if you or your children are being bullied, fight back, bullies generally are cowards and really don't like it if you retaliate

 

[fastpitch17]

I was never bullied in my life so I guess you could say I don't know what the feeling is really like. My Father instilled in us an attitude that no matter what, we stand our ground, then only move forward and if that meant come to blows, make sure those blows were always delivered first and last by you. We were taught that we never pick fights but never back away from one. We lost my Father to heart disease when I was 13 but his influance on my life continued.

In middle school I had a reputation of being the one no one messed with. I was a North Ender so just that was a treat in the entire city but in school, we were all North Enders. I had my fitting athletics of Football and Westling but to follow in my Fathers footsteps, I became a Golden Glove boxer. That ended up with 28 fights and a very respectable record but intellegence set in and I decided to geep my brain cells. So, needless to say, I wasn't really bullied.

What I was I guess because of the people I liked, a protector of the smaller guys. I guess I pretty much just didn't like anyone picking on the smaller guys. Couldn't see anyone taking advantage of someone else. I especially stepped up to protect girls from a bullying guy or guys. No guy could pick on a girl no matter who that girl was. No, I did not make any of my schools safer places but maybe helped out a few students.

Sure, I was challened by others. Maybe once a year someone who was normally newer in the school didn't like me and wanted a challenge. These so called challenges would always take place after school, away from school property of course and being what they were, gathered a large crowd. After giving my challengers all the reasons I could think of to allow them to back out, only one ever did. No matter, I never felt anything against any of them afterwards. Most became friends. I think my biggest challenges were some of the teachers and administrators in my school years.

In jr high I had a principal that I guess didn't like the idea that there was a student who didn't mind standing up for himself and others. That included when I thought the school was being unjust about something. On one occasion he was upset with me for challenging a decission made by a Shop Teacher. (A class I had straight As in) and the Principal came storming into my next class room, grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me out of the classroom. In the hallway he kept pulling and not saying anything I could understand. So, defense set in and he ended up laying at the bottom of the stairs. I had to leave school for a week after that as punishment but I never had trouble with him again.

Another teacher incendent has in High School. You know how sports and schools of the 60 always seem to have these grooming requirements? Well, my hair was a little longer by their standards and the/my wrestling coach, PE instructor called me on it. He decided that his way was to insult me in front of other teachers and some students. I didn't want to loose it so I went to my locker, removed my school issued wrestling gear, walked back to him and put it in his arms. After all the "you can't do thats and the you'll be sorry for doing that" he made the very serious mistake of saying, "Your Mother must not be very good if she can't even make you get a hair cut when you need it." Needless to say, that would be probably the worst thing to say to me. Father died a few years back, single Mother trying to support a family, me in public schools because I didn't want her to spend the money required to attend the Catholic HS my Brother and Sister had attended. Yep, the worst thing. In front of other teachers and some students this man probably came tge closest to death he had ever experienced. No one tried to stop me and I stopped when I thought I should. Yes, police were called. He was removed by ambulance and I and witnesses were questioned. No witness went against me and backed me up as to how I was instigated to what came. Also, fortunately, I come from a family of law enforcement and fire fighters with my Uncle/God Father and the husband of my God Mother on the wall of honor at the police station. The Wrestling coach recovered. He moved away to another school someplace. I was never charged with anything but received a lot of lectures from law enforcement family members. Especially about what my Father would have done to me if he were still around. I can't help but think he would have shook my hand and told me good job.

So, never bullied but never liked anyone else bullied or attacked in any manor.