Why dont Indos give back change?

[Nimbus]

If my parents get angry every time a helper steals something, they’d be dead by now from high blood pressure. They just learn to secure valuables better, and not sweat the small stuff.

Then there are friends and relatives. We’re just thankful that we’re getting stolen from, and not the ones stealing. It means we have more. You can call it karma, cosmic justice, providence, or whatever, but the fact is my family today is doing far better than most of them. Over the years we have ‘lent’ tens of thousands $ with little to no prospect of seeing it back. That’s ok, we’re getting multiples in return from other sources.

Yes, pick your battles. A guy on the street cheating me out of 10K rupiah is a sad joke, because he doesn’t understand how trivial that amount means to me. I’d freaking give it to him if he just asked.

 

[waarmstrong]

As Nimbus implies, charity begins at home. With our family its an open secret within the clan which inhouse loans are really loans and which are gifts. I can add, from my personal experience, it does not matter from which hemisphere the relatives originated. Got to love them all.

 

[Dharma Police]

You can call it karma, cosmic justice, providence, or whatever, but the fact is my family today is doing far better than most of them.

Well said. I like this.

This can be applied to my aforementioned friend. He could've asked me for a bottle of wine, and I would've gave him two. He instead chose to steal it (at our housewarming party, hmm), which tells me his values changed, and we simply grew apart.

If I can be stoic towards a friendship gone awry from thievery, then I'm certainly not going to let petty theft from strangers affect my health i.e. peace of mind.

 

[Nimbus]

Well said. I like this.

This can be applied to my aforementioned friend. He could've asked me for a bottle of wine, and I would've gave him two. He instead chose to steal it (at our housewarming party, hmm), which tells me his values changed, and we simply grew apart.

If I can be stoic towards a friendship gone awry from thievery, then I'm certainly not going to let petty theft from strangers affect my health i.e. peace of mind.

He’s just a friend, so you can simply remove him from your life.

I got a relative who took a special baseball cap given to me by my GF, it was a souvenir from her trip to Australia. It was literally irreplaceable. The cap wasn’t just lying around, it was stored behind glass as part of a collection, in my bedroom. To say that I was pissed is an understatement. What would excuse such a blatant theft? Because I had more he felt he had the right to just take?

I eventually got it back by asking him point blank, which was not very Indonesian, but I couldn’t care less.

The shithead is now working as a satpam, despite having a bachelor’s degree. I wonder sometimes if God / the universe is punishing him for being a nonchalant thief, or maybe his character flaw limits his choices.

He’s still my cousin, so I still have to exchange pleasantries at family reunions. It’s ok, I can handle random small talk once every few years.