The hilarious truth about every Aussie in Bali, ever.

[Vanhelsing]

Rebecca Andrews nails it! For anyone wanting to understand the Aussie bogan varieties that frequent the shores of Bali, I'd like to recommend the full article as a starting point.

by Rebecca Andrews
3rd Aug 2018

The OG kinda B can be found in Kuta's Poppies Lanes getting French polish shellac nails or their kid's/dog's face tattooed on their arm (sometimes both)These are your classic Bali bogans who have been buying holiday packages to the same resort since 1991 and spend their whole trip swimming in the three pools, necking Bintangs at breakfast and accidentally ashing out durries at the swim-up bars..

LUBs are found all over Bali saying their vows under heart-shaped frangipani arches on the beach in front of the hotel where the couple, their family and all their friends are all staying. Fake tan, ankle bracelets, piercings and a bit of extra "work" is usually on the cards for both. The groomsmen don linen suits, the bridesmaids rock dresses that show off their lower-back tattoos and everyone in the wedding party is barefoot. The free flowing Bintang goes all day long, there will be at least three fully-clothed guests in the pool before midnight and most post-wedding group activities will be cancelled because everyone is too hung..

HiBos love to talk about how they travel off the tourist trail, yet all seem to find their way to the beachside town of Canguu. The once peaceful surfing spot is now crammed full of tanned babes with Mexican day-of-the-dead tattoos, the majority of whom are there to start their own jewellery business or clothing line.

The YoBo can be found lining up at 9am on a Sunday to buy a ticket to an ecstatic dance class at Ubud's Yoga Barn. They're only into organic vegan dining and won't touch anything else, unless they buy it direct from a produce market. The posher ones - the PoYoBos - can be found relaxing around their boutique hotel's jungle pool, having just finished a spiritual tour of cleanses, colonics, silent retreats, meditation and yoga accreditations, breathwork, tantra and rebirthing classes. YoBos thrive on telling everyone via social media how grounded they are and announcing that they're going to start a career as a spiritual life coach once they return home.

https://www.gladstoneobserver.com.au/news/what-kinda-bali-bogan-are-you/3482850/

 

[William King]

Haha. Good one!

 

[snpark]

Hope they have the wifi bandit digital nomads on there too ?

 

[Puspawarna]

Very clever article. My Strayan language skills are modest; can someone put this:

accidentally ashing out durries at the swim-up bars..

into American for me? It sounds like putting cigarette butts out in the water or something? (Laugh if you must at how wrong I am.)

ETA: I do know what a "swim-up bar" is, though I think we 'mericans call them "pool bars." But no clue on "ashing out durries."

 

[john madden]

Spot on Pus

 

[harryopal1]

Stone the crows! I don't do any of that stuff. Does that mean I am unAustralian?

 

[brian@bekasi]

But no clue on "ashing out durries."

Mate simple explanation. Durries are fags.

 

[William King]

Very clever article. My Strayan language skills are modest; can someone put this:



into American for me? It sounds like putting cigarette butts out in the water or something? (Laugh if you must at how wrong I am.)

ETA: I do know what a "swim-up bar" is, though I think we 'mericans call them "pool bars." But no clue on "ashing out durries."

Putting out a cigarette.

 

[snpark]

Oh I thought it was the tsunami effect when a big fat bloater "swims" up to the bar with a 2 foot bow wave ahead of him and washes all the ashtrays and glasses off the bar into the water

Oh maybe that's only the Umerican's. Do they wear fanny packs in the water too? Or only just their goatee beards? Lol