Women safety when in public

MilliVanilli

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Jan 16, 2022
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I know this is probably a really weird thing to be worried about, but when we move to Indonesia later this year we will not have a car and my husband will often be working and I will be alone with our daughter and on foot or public transportation.

Is it safe for a woman and child to walk alone in Central Jakarta? We will be near Grand Indonesia in the Tanah Abang area and I'll be, most likely, walking my daughter to daycare or taking the bus.

I already stick out like a sore thumb a bit even here in America, as I have a lot of tattoos and piercings, but I am also in an area where tattoos aren't really that strange. I know Indonesia is much more conservative though and my husband said many people there were incredibly intrigued with him because of his tattoos and would talk to him a lot, so I'm trying to mentally prepare for being noticed. Despite being heavily tattooed I do have a modest wardrobe.

I previously lived in an American city with a bad sex trafficking issue and am just always worried about being targeted while walking or on public transit, especially with my young daughter.
 
Hi there,
I stick out like a sore thumb here - tall very pale-skinned woman living in Kuningan, working in Manggarai area in central Jakarta.
I overwhelmingly find it to be safe and have never personally had any unpleasant experienced here. I have had girlfriends who have had phones snatched so I am careful not to be flaunting my phone (like I would do in many countries). The part of the city you will be living in will be fine to walk about. People are going to stare at you, you'll get used to it and it's never done in a threatening way. There are quite a lot of foreigners in that part so you might blend in a bit (I get a lot more stares in Manggarai compared to Kuningan for instance).

I dont have a car either - I had one but got fed up with having driver issues and have relied only on taxis for the past 4/5 years and have no regrets. Bluebird taxis are great and the go-cars/ grab taxis are also great (download the apps when you get here). Unless your husbands job is very low paid (which I'm sure it is not lol) you will not be using the public transport but taxis instead (mind you the MRT is GREAT - just there is only 1 line so it doesn't work for me but will probably be useful for you).
You might want to join the mums groups on FB - any of my foreign friends with kids get a lot of help from there. Also, feel free to PM me!
 
I wouldn't worry about safety, particularly, but be prepared for a LOT of attention and attempts to talk to you. People are generally well-meaning but don't seem to understand that you may not want to help fifteen people a day practice their English. Babies attract tons of affectionate attention and be prepared for people to give your child candy and snacks without checking with you first.

Some people deal with it better than others - I was usually pretty relaxed about it but I admit that once in a while, especially if it was a young man who wouldn't leave me alone, I would be a bit rude and say (in Indonesian) "sorry, I don't want to chat right now" and then quicken my pace to leave them behind.

I don't know how the tattoos will influence people's approach to you, but I hope you'll post about your experiences once you settle in!

If you are going to be walking the same route frequently, my advice is to be friendly to the people you see regularly and get to know them a little. I'm a very private person and found it hard to live up to Indonesian standards of sociability, but generally rewarding when I forced myself to get over my natural reclusiveness.
 
Your main problem will be the pavements / sidewalks. Or lack of.
Concentrate on where you are stepping and keep your phone in your pocket.
You will be suddenly find a huge hole in the road from a broken slab and even on the newly refurbished parts there's all sorts of bumps and ramps and posts and also food stalls and bikes zipping past
Let alone floods potholes etc
Plus it's 30c temp (95f) and even raining heavily or humid

I don't think you will be walking for long
 
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In all my years here, I have felt it to be one of the safest places I have visited/stayed in in the world. Whether I am in Jakarta or in Bandung, the overwhelming experience I've had has been one of being the object of curiosity (almost childlike). It's not so much that people are interested in me as a human, more people being interested in me as a representative of some exotic species that can talk about places outside of Indonesia and a lifestyle very different to theirs.
As with Gemima, I am tall, pale & blonde, I stand out very much in a crowd & I've used all manner of public transport over the years.
I used to walk around a lot in Jakarta, and as has already been stated, you will see the regular faces on your route, they will say hello... just respond in kind: a smile and a hello goes a long way.
You will see someone selling food or sweeping the streets, or the security guards and other employees around the buildings on your route.
You will likely be memorable to them, even if at first they aren't memorable to you. So, warm smiles and friendly greetings are the order of the day- these are the people who will look out for you on your regular route.
I can state I haven't been attacked- but I did once fall off a kerb edge and hit the floor sustaining a twisted ankle- all the people around rushed over to help me .
I did once accidentally leave my card in an atm machine and the next week when I was in that area again a security guard chased up the street to me to give me back my card.
Even in the big cities Indonesian people remind me more of people from small villages in the UK, they want to know stuff, they want their area to be safe , overall they want their area to be friendly and they tend (as with most people) to reflect your own attitude back at you.
I am not saying there are no thieves or bad people around, there are, but in my decade or so here I haven't experienced any trauma at their hands ... other than having a few chickens stolen from our house in the village (at the time we had no walls and gates on the land, and it was empty & under renovation). [edit- once in Depok, I was walking alone about 9pm and a guy jumped out of the bushes holding a bamboo stick, initially he seemed shocked at my being a "bule" but then said something like - "halo bule, give me your money"- he was about 20 inches shorter than me... I responded with something like "Hello, fuck off" and he did. Haha that was actually funny to me and I wasn't intimidated.

My husband is a rock musician, I have found myself in some strange places, often alone in crowds at night, at concerts, surrounded by drunks and this is the only time I have had to use defensive measures... usually with drunks being over-eager for selfies with me. The one time I clearly recall standing up and getting in someone's face was actually in such a setting- it was drunken woman who was being annoying (she is actually the wife of a friend of the family) and her behaviour was out of hand- she tipped an oil candle over my timid friend's skirt and picked up my drink & walked off with it.
I went over to her gave her the riot act, snatched my drink back and told her to stay the hell away from us or I would clobber her. She dodged us for the rest of the night and the next day there was quite a to-do about it all amongst the family with her husband conveying her sincerest apologies etc etc.. but the main thing was that this 'sweet and kind Bule' (me- haha!! obviously I have cultivated a fab public persona hehe) had been sufficiently provoked to rear up therefore the other party must have been extremely offensive and they told her off for it.

Should you (or anyone else reading this) attend any concerts or such like and notice drugs being done, what I suggest is get the hell out of dodge, if there is a raid the cops will likely target the foreigners. I keep well away from such stuff at the concerts I attend (several a month pre covid) - which are most often open air and frequently for biker's gangs. Even so in such places I haven't witnessed the level of assholes that I have in other countries lol. I have never felt threatened.

A lot of Indonesians that I have met have the impression that foreigners are stand offish or arrogant - try to not feed into that stereotype and then you will likely find that they are saying that you aren't arrogant/stuck-up ' Anda tidak sombong' is quite a compliment- it means you are nicer than they expected.
Ah... I have rattled on enough now, but by all means message and chat in private if you wish to.
 
I have seen lots of women with tattoos at the concerts - I have a very good friend who is Muslim (not practicing , I guess) and has tattoos all over her body. Don't be overly worried about it- as in all cultures, some will love you some won't - some people are judgmental , some aren't.
 
Lol, I have more to say - sorry...
Just a thought, I found it incredibly useful to employ friends here as assistants.
It isn't an expensive way to facilitate your integration into the place. It is a good way to learn some of the basics of the language and to access the best places for shopping and traditional markets and to have someone to run errands for you. You do not have to have them live in just maybe to come around the house each day and perhaps initially to walk with you to the school (assuming it is close by).
 
Your main problem will be the pavements / sidewalks. Or lack of.
Concentrate on where you are stepping and keep your phone in your pocket.
You will be suddenly find a huge hole in the road from a broken slab and even on the newly refurbished parts there's all sorts of bumps and ramps and posts and also food stalls and bikes zipping past
Let alone floods potholes etc
Plus it's 30c temp (95f) and even raining heavily or humid

I don't think you will be walking for long
Sounds a lot like my last home in New Orleans, haha. Unfortunately we are students and my husband is here to research and we are living on a grant, so we just have to make due.
 
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Lol, I have more to say - sorry...
Just a thought, I found it incredibly useful to employ friends here as assistants.
It isn't an expensive way to facilitate your integration into the place. It is a good way to learn some of the basics of the language and to access the best places for shopping and traditional markets and to have someone to run errands for you. You do not have to have them live in just maybe to come around the house each day and perhaps initially to walk with you to the school (assuming it is close by).
Wow you've been so helpful!! I really appreciate your detailed response, it is extremely soothing to my anxiety. I will hopefully not come off as standoffish to anyone in Indonesia, I am a southerner and we are raised to be as friendly as possible and make sure you get all your information about people's "mammas n the family" literally any time you see them, haha.

I will DEFINITELY be considering a helpful friend. You've made me feel a lot more excited about the prospect of meeting people and making friends, which I've been nervous about.

Are you still in Jakarta? I am an audio engineer, so if you husband has any live show connections I would be very interested. My husband is a student and we'll be living on a stipend, so if there's a chance for me to bring in literally any income it'll be a blessing. If you don't mind I'd love to chat sometime.
 
I wouldn't worry about safety, particularly, but be prepared for a LOT of attention and attempts to talk to you. People are generally well-meaning but don't seem to understand that you may not want to help fifteen people a day practice their English. Babies attract tons of affectionate attention and be prepared for people to give your child candy and snacks without checking with you first.

Some people deal with it better than others - I was usually pretty relaxed about it but I admit that once in a while, especially if it was a young man who wouldn't leave me alone, I would be a bit rude and say (in Indonesian) "sorry, I don't want to chat right now" and then quicken my pace to leave them behind.

I don't know how the tattoos will influence people's approach to you, but I hope you'll post about your experiences once you settle in!

If you are going to be walking the same route frequently, my advice is to be friendly to the people you see regularly and get to know them a little. I'm a very private person and found it hard to live up to Indonesian standards of sociability, but generally rewarding when I forced myself to get over my natural reclusiveness.
Well, I guess I'd better prepare for the looks, haha. Hopefully I'll be able to practice Indonesian while people practice English with me. You've made me feel a lot better about the prospect of walking. Currently the daycare we're looking at is closer to walk than take transportation or drive, so we'll be taking the same route a lot I imagine and it'll be nice to know people will want to be friendly and will probably come to know me over time.
 
Hi there,
I stick out like a sore thumb here - tall very pale-skinned woman living in Kuningan, working in Manggarai area in central Jakarta.
I overwhelmingly find it to be safe and have never personally had any unpleasant experienced here. I have had girlfriends who have had phones snatched so I am careful not to be flaunting my phone (like I would do in many countries). The part of the city you will be living in will be fine to walk about. People are going to stare at you, you'll get used to it and it's never done in a threatening way. There are quite a lot of foreigners in that part so you might blend in a bit (I get a lot more stares in Manggarai compared to Kuningan for instance).

I dont have a car either - I had one but got fed up with having driver issues and have relied only on taxis for the past 4/5 years and have no regrets. Bluebird taxis are great and the go-cars/ grab taxis are also great (download the apps when you get here). Unless your husbands job is very low paid (which I'm sure it is not lol) you will not be using the public transport but taxis instead (mind you the MRT is GREAT - just there is only 1 line so it doesn't work for me but will probably be useful for you).
You might want to join the mums groups on FB - any of my foreign friends with kids get a lot of help from there. Also, feel free to PM me!
It makes me feel so comforted that all you wonderful ladies have come to share your experiences!! I will definitely be checking out the Go cars and grab, my husband has told me about both of them. Unfortunately we are students and he will be bringing us on a research grant, so I know I will probably have to be conservative with how much I spend in taxis, but, the school we are looking at is so close to the apartment we picked out and it seems like a lovely neighborhood to walk through. It's over the canal from Tamarin City and South a bit. I have tried to purposely orient us to where what we will need the most will be extremely close. (I perhaps obsessively looked at apartment placements for a few weeks) I will definitely be checking out the mom groups though!! I really appreciate that tip, idk why I didn't even consider there would be such a thing in Jakarta, haha.
 
Wow you've been so helpful!! I really appreciate your detailed response, it is extremely soothing to my anxiety. I will hopefully not come off as standoffish to anyone in Indonesia, I am a southerner and we are raised to be as friendly as possible and make sure you get all your information about people's "mammas n the family" literally any time you see them, haha.

I will DEFINITELY be considering a helpful friend. You've made me feel a lot more excited about the prospect of meeting people and making friends, which I've been nervous about.

Are you still in Jakarta? I am an audio engineer, so if you husband has any live show connections I would be very interested. My husband is a student and we'll be living on a stipend, so if there's a chance for me to bring in literally any income it'll be a blessing. If you don't mind I'd love to chat sometime.
You may find regulations about you being able to work here and earn money are prohibitive in your circumstances. Working in Indonesia , for foreigners, is a complex and detailed process that carries strict penalties if not adhered to.
It seems to me, from reading your posts/responses, that you will do just fine, you seem open-minded and friendly- essential ingredients.
By all means chat away via PM, I will respond.
I am currently in Bandung. Not that such things seem to matter much in these days of video calls etc lol.
 
You may find regulations about you being able to work here and earn money are prohibitive in your circumstances. Working in Indonesia , for foreigners, is a complex and detailed process that carries strict penalties if not adhered to.
It seems to me, from reading your posts/responses, that you will do just fine, you seem open-minded and friendly- essential ingredients.
By all means chat away via PM, I will respond.
I am currently in Bandung. Not that such things seem to matter much in these days of video calls etc lol.
What a shame, working an international concert would be great for the ole resume, haha.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, it really means a lot! I'm hoping we really settle in here, especially since my husband wants to seek longer term employment.

I'll definitely be shooting you a line sometime, we actually have a good friend in Bandung and so we will definitely be out there sometime! Perhaps we will all meet up, haha.

What group is your husband in, btw, is he also American? My husband is a huge music fanatic and recently was doing a bunch of research on local Indonesian music. He's a big metal head, I was very impressed at their metal scene there. Like absolutely amazing looking groups with so much talent.
 
What a shame, working an international concert would be great for the ole resume, haha.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, it really means a lot! I'm hoping we really settle in here, especially since my husband wants to seek longer term employment.

I'll definitely be shooting you a line sometime, we actually have a good friend in Bandung and so we will definitely be out there sometime! Perhaps we will all meet up, haha.

What group is your husband in, btw, is he also American? My husband is a huge music fanatic and recently was doing a bunch of research on local Indonesian music. He's a big metal head, I was very impressed at their metal scene there. Like absolutely amazing looking groups with so much talent.
My husband is Indonesian (I was English- now also Indonesian), he is in a rock band from Bandung called Brianrock. Hubby is also a metal head (me, less so lol)
 
When I read these posts, I am thinking ... 'Too positive'.
After 20.00h ... be careful. Especially if you are alone on the street as a woman, but also if you are alone in a go car at night. There are no-go areas in Indonesia that are controlled by preman (mafia) ask drivers about their experiences
 
When I read these posts, I am thinking ... 'Too positive'.
After 20.00h ... be careful. Especially if you are alone on the street as a woman, but also if you are alone in a go car at night. There are no-go areas in Indonesia that are controlled by preman (mafia) ask drivers about their experiences
A fair point, I live in an area that the preman do not let GoJek/Grab in to but it is a village in Bandung..., I have never experienced such in Jakarta city, but she was initially asking about walking to and from daycare , these places tend not to be open night.
 
I'll just add that crossing the street can be fun. 'One Way' doesn't mean much especially for motorbikes so look out for them, and look out for bikes with no lights at night.
 
When crossing the road one should also be proficient in the use of "The Magic Hand" hey Bad azz !
 
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Tanah Abang used to be home to big name premans, but they don’t do petty crime anymore. I dare say being a white female foreigner you’re actually extra safe, because you will draw attention from all Indonesians within 200 ft. Small time street goons in Indonesia rely on not being noticed, which is impossible in your situation.

There are roaming gangs of muggers and pickpockets operating on buses and minibuses in some areas of Jakarta, but at worst they’ll take your valuables. They don’t hurt you unless you fight back. Just don’t carry stuff that you can’t afford to lose.

Remember the Indonesian word for help, which is ‘tolong’. In the extremely unlikely event that you need help, shout it out at the top of your lungs.
 
My husband is Indonesian (I was English- now also Indonesian), he is in a rock band from Bandung called Brianrock. Hubby is also a metal head (me, less so lol)
We will have to check out his band! I'm an indie rock person, personally, haha, but I do appreciate some good metal.
 

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