Where's my sober people at?

Dharma Police

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I didn't want to use the term "teetotaler". It sounds so 20th century / Prohibition era, and it makes us sound like a bunch of pansies!

I'm on Day 4 (I "relapsed" after 24 days), so I'm pretty new at this. I doubt that I'll never drink alcohol again, but if I can manage that, so be it. It just feels good to get my arms around this thing.

So, where are my people at?
 

HappyMan

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I haven't had a drink in a few months. I like drinking a bit too much, maybe. But what is really stopping me is that I lose more joy from buying a bottle than I get from emptying it. The buzz is just so temporary.
 

Dharma Police

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I haven't had a drink in a few months. I like drinking a bit too much, maybe. But what is really stopping me is that I lose more joy from buying a bottle than I get from emptying it. The buzz is just so temporary.
Same here. When I stepped back and analyzed why I drank, I realized it was for the buzz after 3 or 4 whiskeys, or in rare cases a few beers. After that (and there were always "after that's"), it was basically fueling the awful hangover I will inevitably endure.

Now I prefer the high I get from a good night's rest, or music from a new record, and I'm a big fan of not having my stomach feel like I ate 10 cabe rawit.
 

Bad_azz

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I rarely drink any alcohol at all.
I just don't really see the point.
I can brew it though :D
I pretty much quit drinking about 15- 20 years ago, the trigger was that I was caring for my grandmother who lived with us.
She went to bed at 9pm , we went out for just 2 hours.
When we got home we found that gran had fallen out of bed just as we had gone out, she had been on the floor 2 hours, I wasn't drunk but the connect was set in my brain I guess.
She was fine but the jolt I got was enough that I just lost interest in going down the pub & subsequently drinking alcohol.
There are a million things I would much rather do than hang out in a bar drinking booze.
I like the taste of coffee better, I prefer reading a book to socialising.
Asking & answering those same old-same old questions of people; where are you from, what do you enjoy doing etc- I am absolutely crap at small talk - it bores me senseless.
 

Helpful Herbert

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I didn't want to use the term "teetotaler". It sounds so 20th century / Prohibition era, and it makes us sound like a bunch of pansies!

I'm on Day 4 (I "relapsed" after 24 days), so I'm pretty new at this. I doubt that I'll never drink alcohol again, but if I can manage that, so be it. It just feels good to get my arms around this thing.

So, where are my people at?
You picked a good country to stop drinking
 

Dharma Police

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I rarely drink any alcohol at all.
I just don't really see the point.
I can brew it though :D
I pretty much quit drinking about 15- 20 years ago, the trigger was that I was caring for my grandmother who lived with us.
She went to bed at 9pm , we went out for just 2 hours.
When we got home we found that gran had fallen out of bed just as we had gone out, she had been on the floor 2 hours, I wasn't drunk but the connect was set in my brain I guess.
She was fine but the jolt I got was enough that I just lost interest in going down the pub & subsequently drinking alcohol.
There are a million things I would much rather do than hang out in a bar drinking booze.
I like the taste of coffee better, I prefer reading a book to socialising.
Asking & answering those same old-same old questions of people; where are you from, what do you enjoy doing etc- I am absolutely crap at small talk - it bores me senseless.
You were drinking when you were 10 years old?? :nono:

Yikes so I take it you felt guilty and responsible for not being home? I also do those kinds of "bargaining". "If only I would have...", "I should've not been so selfish", and so on. It's a natural response to tragic events, or in your case an accident that could've been prevented, but I'm sure you realize it wasn't your fault. You could've also fallen asleep, had music on, or a thousand other things that'd make you unable to rescue her for 2 hours. Still, it's great that it was your own personal rock "bottom" and the catalyst for a newfound control of alcohol.

My rock bottom also wasn't borne from a major tragedy. Losing a house or job, ruining a marriage, jail time, cirrhosis - these are stereotypical rock bottoms. My moment of clarity came from introspection. Like I told Happy Man up there I simply got sick of the hangovers. I also don't want to keep being the short-tempered guy in my personal and professional life. It doesn't take a genius to see that 5 hours of sleep on a Sunday night will make anyone cranky.

There were some weird inspirations too. One night I watched a video of Lemmy from the metal group Motorhead talk about his drinking. He said he'd regularly put away a bottle of Jack Daniel's a night. Not that long ago I would've been appalled at such debauchery, but realize now that I could match him drink for drink. I'm not in a rock band, I'm just an average joe with a wife and kid. A bottle of Jameson 3 - 5 nights a week is just stupid.

It's time. Time to control this thing. Now, I may come back to this thread and say I had a few. Abstinence was never my goal. To be frank, I don't believe people when they say they've been completely sober for 10, 20, 30 years. If you've been sober 30+ years (!), why would you even need to talk about it anymore?
 
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gemima

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I didn't want to use the term "teetotaler". It sounds so 20th century / Prohibition era, and it makes us sound like a bunch of pansies!

I'm on Day 4 (I "relapsed" after 24 days), so I'm pretty new at this. I doubt that I'll never drink alcohol again, but if I can manage that, so be it. It just feels good to get my arms around this thing.

So, where are my people at?
I'm FAR from tee-total but I have significantly decreased my alcohol consumption in the past year.
In March 2020 I left to escape the pandemic chaos (that never really came) and went home to be with my mother halfway across the world (she was very happy to have me for a few months to throw out 20 years of junk from the house and do her garden - also they locked down hard where she lives and she needed some company). She doesn't really drink and I matched her while I was home.
Came back to Jakarta in July and my BF can't get in here (he's in Australia) and so I'm alone; drinking solo is really not such a great idea so most weeks I don't drink at all.
I still drink when I meet friends but my social life is much quieter now (thanks covid).
I feel much better and am healthier (exercise is pretty great actually). I have a smartwatch and it's alarming how much booze increases my heart rate (booze-free my resting rate is around 50 and if I'm boozed-up it shoots up to 90 at rest - for hours after I stop drinking).
Covid has taken away so much from so many but I'm thankful for the opportunity it's given me to get more serious about my health.
 

Bad_azz

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You were drinking when you were 10 years old?? :nono:

Yikes so I take it you felt guilty and responsible for not being home? I also do those kinds of "bargaining". "If only I would have...", "I should've not been so selfish", and so on. It's a natural response to tragic events, or in your case an accident that could've been prevented, but I'm sure you realize it wasn't your fault. You could've also fallen asleep, had music on, or a thousand other things that'd make you unable to rescue her for 2 hours. Still, it's great that it was your own personal rock "bottom" and the catalyst for a newfound control of alcohol.

My rock bottom wasn't so tragic. Losing a house or job, ruining a marriage, jail time, cirrhosis - these are stereotypical rock bottoms. My moment of clarity came from introspection. Like I told Happy Man up there I simply got sick of the hangovers. I also don't want to keep being the short-tempered guy in my personal and professional life. It doesn't take a genius to see that 5 hours of sleep on a damn Monday will make anyone cranky.

There were some weird inspirations too. One night I watched a video of Lemmy from the metal group Motorhead talk about his drinking. He said he'd regularly put away a bottle of Jack Daniel's a night. Not that long ago I would've been appalled at such debauchery, but I realized that I could match him drink for drink. I'm not in a rock band, I'm just a regular joe with a wife and kids. A bottle of Jameson 3 - 5 nights a week is just stupid.

It's time. Time to control this thing. Now, I may come back to this thread and say I had a few. Abstinence was never my goal. To be frank, I don't believe people when they say they've been sober for 10, 20, 30 years. If you've been sober 30+ years (!), why would you even need to talk about it anymore?
I still do drink, but the wind has to be in the right direction & the urge in place, a rarity- I might have 1 beer every couple of months or I might down a half bottle of voddy if I so feel inclined- something I have done twice in the past 11 years.
one time was the funeral of the guy I had lived with for a 1/4 century.
the other was just party mode :D
I tend to go into sleepy mode with alcohol, so it is quite a waste of money
 

macvert

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I rarely drink any alcohol at all.
I just don't really see the point.
I can brew it though :D
I pretty much quit drinking about 15- 20 years ago, the trigger was that I was caring for my grandmother who lived with us.
She went to bed at 9pm , we went out for just 2 hours.
When we got home we found that gran had fallen out of bed just as we had gone out, she had been on the floor 2 hours, I wasn't drunk but the connect was set in my brain I guess.
She was fine but the jolt I got was enough that I just lost interest in going down the pub & subsequently drinking alcohol.
There are a million things I would much rather do than hang out in a bar drinking booze.
I like the taste of coffee better, I prefer reading a book to socialising.
Asking & answering those same old-same old questions of people; where are you from, what do you enjoy doing etc- I am absolutely crap at small talk - it bores me senseless.

I'm interested because after a few I had to re read the above post by BA, at first I interpreted it as granny falling out of bed & being found drunk on the floor ......
 
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Wisnu

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Remind me the only time I was drunk - very bad drunk; even worst, wife and kids was with me.
happened when we lived in KZ; when we attended my colleague (local staff) wedding party.
I was the more senior expat staff attended the party, they asked me to speech on behalf company.
Not big deal if just making speech in Russian, I have prepared my speech with the help of other colleague and google translate. After 2-3 sentences, then everybody applause, this was okay, but then their family member started handed over Vodka to me. I tried my best to refuse, even I told them that I'm muslim, but almost everybody said, not to worry as they are muslim too. "this is special event sir! God bless you!! God bless us"
Okay, did not want to insult them I took one shot - that's the problem; I can't recall how many shots ended; I only remember, I wake up in the hotel with terrible headaches, pain on all my joints, and poor vision.
I told my self - no more alcohol, no more drunk.
only half true
 

jukung11

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Only sober some of the time. Can I crash the thread? Like gemima, I cut back severely since covid started for health reasons. I became a lot more sedentary and those extra calories added up. I still indulge 1-2 days a week. I drink for the feeling, but I also love the taste. Anything oaked is delicious to me. A peaty salty scotch, the natural sweetness of brandy, spicy rum, a floral anejo tequila, spicy rye, the charcoal and sweetness of bourbon, the mildness of canadian. It is all fantastic. I barely touch beer or wine.
 

fastpitch17

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I think I have had 3, maybe 4 drinks in the past 30 some years. Before that it was a case of beer or a fifth of good bourbon. I just up and realized that I could drink that much and spend a god awful amount of money doing it and not getting a thing out of it. Never drunk, hardly ever high from it. What was the purpose? I could get the same from free water. So, I said the hell with it.

Not opposed to anyone drinking and if I decide that I want a drink because I like the taste, I will have a nice double shot good bourbon, straight up.
 

Dharma Police

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I think I have had 3, maybe 4 drinks in the past 30 some years. Before that it was a case of beer or a fifth of good bourbon. I just up and realized that I could drink that much and spend a god awful amount of money doing it and not getting a thing out of it. Never drunk, hardly ever high from it. What was the purpose? I could get the same from free water. So, I said the hell with it.

Not opposed to anyone drinking and if I decide that I want a drink because I like the taste, I will have a nice double shot good bourbon, straight up.
I hardly ever drink beer, so my preference for Jameson was costing me a lot of money, not to mention the single malts I'd get every other week. I also don't enjoy the feeling anymore. You know what feels fantastic? Seeing the money I saved and planning our next holiday.
 

Jaime C

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Alcohol has never had much appeal to me. I might drink a few ounces a year, just to try out a new beverage. Even free high end stuff on planes, lounges and hotels, I’ll just try a sip. If I get a free bottle at a hotel, it usually goes direct to my wife.
 

Dharma Police

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Alcohol has never had much appeal to me. I might drink a few ounces a year, just to try out a new beverage. Even free high end stuff on planes, lounges and hotels, I’ll just try a sip. If I get a free bottle at a hotel, it usually goes direct to my wife.
Interesting. Is it the flavors that do nothing for you, the buzz, or both?
 

Jaime C

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It’s just never appealed to me. At 13-14 in the US, I’d get a thrill out of going to the Circle K and buying a beer. Never liked the taste, certainly. I was lucky if I could stomach half a 12 ounce beer. Getting drunk was never a feeling I enjoyed.

Having an alcoholic father, lent a lot caution to what drinking to excess could bring. I also saw how drug abuse could effect some extended family members.
 

Dharma Police

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It’s just never appealed to me. At 13-14 in the US, I’d get a thrill out of going to the Circle K and buying a beer. Never liked the taste, certainly. I was lucky if I could stomach half a 12 ounce beer. Getting drunk was never a feeling I enjoyed.

Having an alcoholic father, lent a lot caution to what drinking to excess could bring. I also saw how drug abuse could effect some extended family members.
We used to buy beer and cigarettes from the corner store at 14 too. My friend's mom would send him down there with a note and they'd sell an adolescent cigarettes, and even liquor. It was a different time in the U.S.

My dad likes to imbibe a little too much, but oddly enough I don't remember him ever drinking when I was young. He's not a mean drunk though, was never that guy. I do however see him have his nightly drinks with dinner (ugh), and hope that my sobriety will rub off on him.
 

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