People’s Reactions When You’ve Revealed That You’re An “Ex”

SamR

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107
For variety and so we’re not talking about stay permits all the time, my question today how have people reacted when they know you’re an “ex”?

Mostly referring to situations when it’s unavoidable to show documents that reveal you’re an “ex”.

For me, I’ve received the following reactions:

-Unfazed. People at the immigration office, people at AHU’s citizenship and my agent fall in this category. Office HR and RT/RW/Kelurahan (when they’ve become used to me and my various admin/immigration issues). They’ve gotten to a point where it’s not a shock anymore.

-Judgmental/hostile/unfriendly. Thankfully a very small minority has given me this reaction but it doesn’t make it any less unpleasant. Immigration passport stampers at the airport have been my only source of less than pleasant reactions. Have never made it through international departure or arrival without a judgmental look.

-The people who think you live a glamorous life. “You must really have an interesting life”, said a bank teller to me once.

-The people who have family members who have become WNA. This turned out to be the reason why the guy at the Catatan Sipil that processed my wedding certificate was so pleasant towards me and ended up keeping me an extra 30 mins to share his brother’s experiences overseas.

-The majority undoubtedly belong to the “struggle to process” it category. I have no doubt it has something to do with the fact that here I am speaking Indonesian but I have a foreigner’s documents. This normally manifests itself in taking longer than usual to read your documents.

Sometimes they have to keep things moving (check in counters and when boardingn at airports) and don’t have the time to react.

Sometimes they will become cautious and consult with superiors (bank tellers) to make sure that they will do the right thing when handling a WNA.

Sometimes they will try to improvise such as my RT years ago, who without any reference to anyone, said that it’s perfectly ok for a WNA to have an E-KTP (it’s not). With these types, you must repeat over and over the following question “I am a WNA, are you sure that what you’re telling me is okay for me to do?”

How have your experiences been?
 
Just to add to this list "The people who think you live a glamorous life".

I once helped a WNI family member extending his STNK in a local samsat. Handed him my KTP Orang Asing and the other normal KTP. He automatically assumes that I am the local guy processing on behalf of the WNA. He needed to double-check my KTP a few times to confirm that I am speaking the truth. Then he said that this is the first time he sees a WNA running an errand for WNI...
 
-Judgmental/hostile/unfriendly. Thankfully a very small minority has given me this reaction but it doesn’t make it any less unpleasant. Immigration passport stampers at the airport have been my only source of less than pleasant reactions. Have never made it through international departure or arrival without a judgmental look.
Very interesting post. I take it from this that you look 100% Indonesian (i.e. not dual citizen) and speak Indonesian as your native language?

I wonder if an ex-WNI does not look completely Indonesian, or if his Indonesian has a heavy accent, then they would not be judgemental because they would think the person is a foreigner anyway?

If this is correct, then I wonder what is the key thing that annoys them 1) the fact you look completely Indonesian or 2) the fact you sound completely Indonesian. If you looked the same but Indonesian was only your 2nd language after English, or if your Indonesian is native standard but your face is half bule, then perhaps they wouldn't care so much?
 
Really good topic Sam! Was gonna post this before, but you beat me to it! :)

In the past 10 years of me revealing this bit of info to people, I've only heard one blatant comment (and it was from an immigration officer ironically according to my agent)....of being 'unpatriotic'....and to that i say F-him.

Most of the time I just got reactions from "Oh..you're here on a KITAS/KIMS then?" to "Do you pay Indonesian tax?" and other curious questions. Of course I also got the "You still got your KK, right?" I also got the "You got such a nice life in the US why are you here then?" If I'm feelin' honest I'll just say I was too naive and my (nice and stable) 9-5 job seemed stagnant compared to all the awesome stories that families, friends said about doing businesses in Asia...although in the end, surviving through quite a bit of stuff in the past 10 years, I've come out a 'better' person (if you will) and for lack of a better word...slightly wiser.

I've definitely had another agent joined in a conversation I was having with my agent years ago (in the immigration office!)..of not bothering to pursue kitap and just apply for Indo passport instead..etc.

Banks...usually when I talk to the tellers, they ask curious questions like "What is it like to live overseas?" and when i talk about how streamlined processes there, usually it's met with a nod and a smile. Earlier years I met quite a few people who were still referring KITAS as KIMS (old school way of saying KITAS basically)...not that much anymore.

Airport: They're pretty professional although i think (maybe it's just in my mind) one or two seemed to give the vibe of "Why are you on KITAP.." but they just usually maintain their poker face, stamped my passport, I say terima kasih and that's it.

Since the topic is kinda out in the open...I'll say some 'eks' own Ktp, etc not necessarily to commit anything 'illegal' (at least in my opinion)...to me, at least it's more psychological and for whatever reason we're trying to hold on to that 'last piece' of identity we have if that makes sense (not that I would buy a house with it or anything..) I don't know...being called 'foreign' back in the US sucks, but for some reason I can still ignore comments like that (even after becoming a citizen) vs being called foreign here in Indonesia.
 
Very interesting post. I take it from this that you look 100% Indonesian (i.e. not dual citizen) and speak Indonesian as your native language?

I wonder if an ex-WNI does not look completely Indonesian, or if his Indonesian has a heavy accent, then they would not be judgemental because they would think the person is a foreigner anyway?

If this is correct, then I wonder what is the key thing that annoys them 1) the fact you look completely Indonesian or 2) the fact you sound completely Indonesian. If you looked the same but Indonesian was only your 2nd language after English, or if your Indonesian is native standard but your face is half bule, then perhaps they wouldn't care so much?
In my personal opinion.....if one is half bule, Indonesians usually are more understanding...say like Cinta Laura...they might mock her way of speaking Indonesian, but if she said she's a WNA, they'll say "off course...she's half bule"

but a person looking absolutely Indonesian, speaks fluent Indonesian...no reason for being a WNA (in their mind).

and if you're a Chinese descent....and got the citizenship after 1998.....touchy subject. I've actually experienced two totally different views...one of course being supportive of the citizenship, and the other one usually silent..but you get the vibe of "Why are you back here now?" or "It was not that bad you were not really targeted but you left your country anyway"
 
Very interesting post. I take it from this that you look 100% Indonesian (i.e. not dual citizen) and speak Indonesian as your native language?

I wonder if an ex-WNI does not look completely Indonesian, or if his Indonesian has a heavy accent, then they would not be judgemental because they would think the person is a foreigner anyway?

If this is correct, then I wonder what is the key thing that annoys them 1) the fact you look completely Indonesian or 2) the fact you sound completely Indonesian. If you looked the same but Indonesian was only your 2nd language after English, or if your Indonesian is native standard but your face is half bule, then perhaps they wouldn't care so much?
I have some European blood courtesy of my great-great-grandfather. There’s enough distance generationally between me for that blood to be dilluted and for me to blend in okay appearance-wise but there’s enough of him that when I speak English, my Indonesian-ness becomes well-hidden. Ie. people tell me I look like a non-Indonesian speaking English rather than an Indonesian speaking English.

I confess I’ve tried pretending not being able to speak Indonesian when getting my passport stamped for a trip overseas to see if they’ll treat me differently but I just couldn’t win. They just looked at me with an even more judgemental look. I’ve never had a problem at the Kanim but almost always at the Airport when going through immigration.
 
Most of the time I just got reactions from "Oh..you're here on a KITAS/KIMS then?" to "Do you pay Indonesian tax?" and other curious questions. Of course I also got the "You still got your KK, right?" I also got the "You got such a nice life in the US why are you here then?" If I'm feelin' honest I'll just say I was too naive and my (nice and stable) 9-5 job seemed stagnant compared to all the awesome stories that families, friends said about doing businesses in Asia...although in the end, surviving through quite a bit of stuff in the past 10 years, I've come out a 'better' person (if you will) and for lack of a better word...slightly wiser.

I've definitely had another agent joined in a conversation I was having with my agent years ago (in the immigration office!)..of not bothering to pursue kitap and just apply for Indo passport instead..etc.

Banks...usually when I talk to the tellers, they ask curious questions like "What is it like to live overseas?" and when i talk about how streamlined processes there, usually it's met with a nod and a smile. Earlier years I met quite a few people who were still referring KITAS as KIMS (old school way of saying KITAS basically)...not that much anymore.

Airport: They're pretty professional although i think (maybe it's just in my mind) one or two seemed to give the vibe of "Why are you on KITAP.." but they just usually maintain their poker face, stamped my passport, I say terima kasih and that's it.

Since the topic is kinda out in the open...I'll say some 'eks' own Ktp, etc not necessarily to commit anything 'illegal' (at least in my opinion)...to me, at least it's more psychological and for whatever reason we're trying to hold on to that 'last piece' of identity we have if that makes sense (not that I would buy a house with it or anything..) I don't know...being called 'foreign' back in the US sucks, but for some reason I can still ignore comments like that (even after becoming a citizen) vs being called foreign here in Indonesia.

I’d say that that’s another category of reactions you’ve got there, Banana72. I call this the “kepo”. I’ve encountered a little bit of it but not much since most are still struggling to process my WNA-ness😀

The comment by the agent that you should apply for WNI status got me thinking.

There are two types of people whose existence I’ve been curious about for some time as an “ex”.

The first is the ex-WNI who have ended up back in Indonesia. And I’m happy to say that my curiosity has been answered.

The second is the ex-WNI who have not only ended up back in Indonesia but has gone on to become a WNI again. I’m not talking about special cases like Archandra Tahar, but people who have jumped through the bureaucratic hoops and become a WNI again. A rare breed of people, I’m sure, but one which I believe is out there somewhere.
 
I'm curious about a third type, an ex-WNI who never lived outside Indonesia, but was forced to give up WNI status at 21 under dual national laws (if they wanted to keep their foreign passport).
 
For variety and so we’re not talking about stay permits all the time, my question today how have people reacted when they know you’re an “ex”?

Mostly referring to situations when it’s unavoidable to show documents that reveal you’re an “ex”.

For me, I’ve received the following reactions:

-Unfazed. People at the immigration office, people at AHU’s citizenship and my agent fall in this category. Office HR and RT/RW/Kelurahan (when they’ve become used to me and my various admin/immigration issues). They’ve gotten to a point where it’s not a shock anymore.

-Judgmental/hostile/unfriendly. Thankfully a very small minority has given me this reaction but it doesn’t make it any less unpleasant. Immigration passport stampers at the airport have been my only source of less than pleasant reactions. Have never made it through international departure or arrival without a judgmental look.

-The people who think you live a glamorous life. “You must really have an interesting life”, said a bank teller to me once.

-The people who have family members who have become WNA. This turned out to be the reason why the guy at the Catatan Sipil that processed my wedding certificate was so pleasant towards me and ended up keeping me an extra 30 mins to share his brother’s experiences overseas.

-The majority undoubtedly belong to the “struggle to process” it category. I have no doubt it has something to do with the fact that here I am speaking Indonesian but I have a foreigner’s documents. This normally manifests itself in taking longer than usual to read your documents.

Sometimes they have to keep things moving (check in counters and when boardingn at airports) and don’t have the time to react.

Sometimes they will become cautious and consult with superiors (bank tellers) to make sure that they will do the right thing when handling a WNA.

Sometimes they will try to improvise such as my RT years ago, who without any reference to anyone, said that it’s perfectly ok for a WNA to have an E-KTP (it’s not). With these types, you must repeat over and over the following question “I am a WNA, are you sure that what you’re telling me is okay for me to do?”

How have your experiences been?

My experience as an ex-WNI being back in Jakarta where I was born after being away for so many years, at first I was trying very hard to speak Indonesian fluently and it seems that I was still thinking in English and it must have sounded strange when I speak in bahasa. My sister and some of my old friends mentioned that my bahasa sounds a bit weird to them, in fact quite a few times my sister had to assist me when I was trying to explain things during our conversation.

On my arrival at the airport: Although they're very nice and professional, the guy behind the counter looked up and gave me a judgmental look like he wondered that I have a US passport, but went ahead stamped my passport after reminding me not to forget to extend my sos bud visa before expiration date. There are no problems at the airport when going through immigration and custom. I remember stories from some of Indonesian's friend (WNI) that had so much problems going through custom after being abroad.

Some of the reactions that I've received so far from the Immigration office or Civil registry office when they looked at my US passport: “oh, you have been a US citizen for so long, how long are you planning to stay?”. No one ever made comment that I should apply for WNI status. When I was processing my 5 yr Kitap, the immigration staff took their time questioning my intentions to stay but everything went smoothly and they were very helpful.

Recently when I was registering for the Covid vaccination at the nearby hospital, the staff became cautious and took their time to consult their supervisor to make sure that they will do the right thing when handling a WNA.

I do have reactions mostly from friends and families that they are so sure the life in Indonesia a lot nicer for me than the life in the US where you have to do everything on your own (meaning no house girls doing your daily chores)

I have to admit in the last 1 ½ yr since I am back in Indonesia, I have not encountered any serious problems, hopefully this is the case for the future as well. Although I confess that I am still struggling adjusting with this new kind of life.
 
And in the US? While America is talked of as the melting pot I imagine most Caucasian Americans would see you first as an Asian. I suspect many Americans would not know where Indonesia is let alone much about it. With Chinese often being blamed for introducing Covid did you experience any overt hostility? Or were you already back in Indonesia?
 
And in the US? While America is talked of as the melting pot I imagine most Caucasian Americans would see you first as an Asian. I suspect many Americans would not know where Indonesia is let alone much about it. With Chinese often being blamed for introducing Covid did you experience any overt hostility? Or were you already back in Indonesia?

I was already here when I've heard all the anti Asian things going on in the US. And yes, I had to tell my friends and co workers to goggle all about Indonesia.
 
I’m still haven’t tell people I’m an ex, beside my immediate family. I’m still living in a proverbial closet. I’m still afraid to let people know. It’s not like being ex Wni we living in gold and honey, party all the time kind of living in our current nationalities (I.e. US, Australia, etc). It’s their hating and envy mindset that upset me. I bet all of us ex here cried or depressed at one point of our life when we were outside of indo. We still consider indo as our home, it just a piece of paper that say otherwise. I see Indo and my current nationality as mom and dad, how can we choose one and reject other. They both make who we are today. Can’t wait for the day of dual citizenship become reality
 
I’m still haven’t tell people I’m an ex, beside my immediate family. I’m still living in a proverbial closet. I’m still afraid to let people know. It’s not like being ex Wni we living in gold and honey, party all the time kind of living in our current nationalities (I.e. US, Australia, etc). It’s their hating and envy mindset that upset me. I bet all of us ex here cried or depressed at one point of our life when we were outside of indo. We still consider indo as our home, it just a piece of paper that say otherwise. I see Indo and my current nationality as mom and dad, how can we choose one and reject other. They both make who we are today. Can’t wait for the day of dual citizenship become reality
I’m sure this is something “exes” have/are gone/going through at some point. Truthfully, it never gets any less uncomfortable. You only get use to the discomfort but you never really become comfortable.
 
Sine...I take it you just recently got into this KITAP thing...right? Makes me think and compare to when I first got it. Same like you, i was self-conscious about the 'ex' status...but going on my 2nd KITAP i am becoming 'less uncomfortable' about it...except obviously when thinking about the legal stuff like banks, inheritance, making driver's license, etc. But socially I am quite okay with it. Now I don't still advertise my status to just anybody, not because I'm uncomfortable, but it's just something that they don't need to know unless it's needed/need to know basis.

Now having been in this country for 10+ years now as a 'foreigner'...really, unless I really confess to them 'who i am', to unsuspecting folks I am Indonesian and I can blend much more easily...at the worst if I go to smaller town (Bogor, etc) at worst they'll just recognize me as Jakartans. Compare that to going to a small town in the US where I was for 20 years...majority of the time I was taken (at best) as somebody who has been in the US for a long time (green card holder/PR), maybe a naturalized citizen (I'd say 30%), but for sure not American born if that makes sense, makes it harder for sure to really blend in. Granted I still speak with an accent although my good supportive friends/coworkers said they hardly notice it...not that it matters to them anyway,

Something controversial if I may add....technically...being considered 'foreign' in Indonesia shouldn't be a new thing for my fellow Chinese-Indonesian born...I mean up until Abdurrahman Wahid really push for the diversity (starting with the Chinese Indo able to celebrate CNY openly in 2000), quite a few of them felt uneasy of who they were. Took us 20 years to feel some kind of widespread acceptance...maybe it'll be the same with our -ex status...acceptable in another 10 years? (maybe less) after all, the idea of ex-wni KITAP itself i think barely introduced (and slowly learned by immigration officers themselves) in 2012...

Sorry for my rambling, but just wanted to say this is a good thread and it does make us discuss about this...the psychological aspect of being 'foreign'...it is a unique experience for sure.
 
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Sine...I take it you just recently got into this KITAP thing...right? Makes me think and compare to when I first got it. Same like you, i was self-conscious about the 'ex' status...but going on my 2nd KITAP i am becoming 'less uncomfortable' about it...except obviously when thinking about the legal stuff like banks, inheritance, making driver's license, etc. But socially I am quite okay with it. Now I don't still advertise my status to just anybody, not because I'm uncomfortable, but it's just something that they don't need to know unless it's needed/need to know basis.

Now having been in this country for 10+ years now as a 'foreigner'...really, unless I really confess to them 'who i am', to unsuspecting folks I am Indonesian and I can blend much more easily...at the worst if I go to smaller town (Bogor, etc) at worst they'll just recognize me as Jakartans. Compare that to going to a small town in the US where I was for 20 years...majority of the time I was taken (at best) as somebody who has been in the US for a long time (green card holder/PR), maybe a naturalized citizen (I'd say 30%), but for sure not American born if that makes sense, makes it harder for sure to really blend in. Granted I still speak with an accent although my good supportive friends/coworkers said they hardly notice it...not that it matters to them anyway,

Something controversial if I may add....technically...being considered 'foreign' in Indonesia shouldn't be a new thing for my fellow Chinese-Indonesian born...I mean up until Abdurrahman Wahid really push for the diversity (starting with the Chinese Indo able to celebrate CNY openly in 2000), quite a few of them felt uneasy of who they were. Took us 20 years to feel some kind of widespread acceptance...maybe it'll be the same with our -ex status...acceptable in another 10 years? (maybe less) after all, the idea of ex-wni KITAP itself i think barely introduced (and slowly learned by immigration officers themselves) in 2012...

Sorry for my rambling, but just wanted to say this is a good thread and it does make us discuss about this...the psychological aspect of being 'foreign'...it is a unique experience for sure.
No, no, rambling is good. Let’s get it out of the system🤣.

I think having a Kitap, not that I have one, there would be some comfort level there from the knowledge you don’t have to do the annual getting the documents ready, applying for a renewal etc. which is a psychologically tiring process (not only for exes but also all WNAs).

As far as the government and the bureaucracy is concerned, I think they are just discovering exes but still clueless on how to treat them.
 
I’m sure this is something “exes” have/are gone/going through at some point. Truthfully, it never gets any less uncomfortable. You only get use to the discomfort but you never really become comfortable.
Well said. I totally agree with what you are saying. It would never be comfortable it just we are getting used to the discomfort.
 
Sine...I take it you just recently got into this KITAP thing...right? Makes me think and compare to when I first got it. Same like you, i was self-conscious about the 'ex' status...but going on my 2nd KITAP i am becoming 'less uncomfortable' about it...except obviously when thinking about the legal stuff like banks, inheritance, making driver's license, etc. But socially I am quite okay with it. Now I don't still advertise my status to just anybody, not because I'm uncomfortable, but it's just something that they don't need to know unless it's needed/need to know basis.

Now having been in this country for 10+ years now as a 'foreigner'...really, unless I really confess to them 'who i am', to unsuspecting folks I am Indonesian and I can blend much more easily...at the worst if I go to smaller town (Bogor, etc) at worst they'll just recognize me as Jakartans. Compare that to going to a small town in the US where I was for 20 years...majority of the time I was taken (at best) as somebody who has been in the US for a long time (green card holder/PR), maybe a naturalized citizen (I'd say 30%), but for sure not American born if that makes sense, makes it harder for sure to really blend in. Granted I still speak with an accent although my good supportive friends/coworkers said they hardly notice it...not that it matters to them anyway,

Something controversial if I may add....technically...being considered 'foreign' in Indonesia shouldn't be a new thing for my fellow Chinese-Indonesian born...I mean up until Abdurrahman Wahid really push for the diversity (starting with the Chinese Indo able to celebrate CNY openly in 2000), quite a few of them felt uneasy of who they were. Took us 20 years to feel some kind of widespread acceptance...maybe it'll be the same with our -ex status...acceptable in another 10 years? (maybe less) after all, the idea of ex-wni KITAP itself i think barely introduced (and slowly learned by immigration officers themselves) in 2012...

Sorry for my rambling, but just wanted to say this is a good thread and it does make us discuss about this...the psychological aspect of being 'foreign'...it is a unique experience for sure
Sine...I take it you just recently got into this KITAP thing...right? Makes me think and compare to when I first got it. Same like you, i was self-conscious about the 'ex' status...but going on my 2nd KITAP i am becoming 'less uncomfortable' about it...except obviously when thinking about the legal stuff like banks, inheritance, making driver's license, etc. But socially I am quite okay with it. Now I don't still advertise my status to just anybody, not because I'm uncomfortable, but it's just something that they don't need to know unless it's needed/need to know basis.

Now having been in this country for 10+ years now as a 'foreigner'...really, unless I really confess to them 'who i am', to unsuspecting folks I am Indonesian and I can blend much more easily...at the worst if I go to smaller town (Bogor, etc) at worst they'll just recognize me as Jakartans. Compare that to going to a small town in the US where I was for 20 years...majority of the time I was taken (at best) as somebody who has been in the US for a long time (green card holder/PR), maybe a naturalized citizen (I'd say 30%), but for sure not American born if that makes sense, makes it harder for sure to really blend in. Granted I still speak with an accent although my good supportive friends/coworkers said they hardly notice it...not that it matters to them anyway,

Something controversial if I may add....technically...being considered 'foreign' in Indonesia shouldn't be a new thing for my fellow Chinese-Indonesian born...I mean up until Abdurrahman Wahid really push for the diversity (starting with the Chinese Indo able to celebrate CNY openly in 2000), quite a few of them felt uneasy of who they were. Took us 20 years to feel some kind of widespread acceptance...maybe it'll be the same with our -ex status...acceptable in another 10 years? (maybe less) after all, the idea of ex-wni KITAP itself i think barely introduced (and slowly learned by immigration officers themselves) in 2012...

Sorry for my rambling, but just wanted to say this is a good thread and it does make us discuss about this...the psychological aspect of being 'foreign'...it is a unique experience for sure.
Banana72

Yeah you are right, I’m holding kitas now and looking to get KITAP in the future. True I never advertise my status it just I’m too afraid and uncomfortable to disclose about it. Hahaha most people are kepo and you most likely will pay for their keponess.

I hope one day I will get used to being uncomfortable. It just doesn’t sit right in my gut that we are being treating so for just being who we are. Where is the humanity in it?

I got you, I still have accent my self. To most people and my friends they accept me for who I am but to some people they consider us as a FOB, which shunned and looked down upon. Ain’t it a social butterfly (I’m censoring my self, I have a potty mouth haha) we are at times not fully accepted in our second home or down right despise for being immigrants (true not everyone are racists). And now when we are trying to live our life’s in the land of our births (Indo), we are being treated no different when we were in our second homes. The pain and disappointment is whole another wound in itself. True some people here are open minded but good numbers of people in charge of livelihood (Permit) lacking the very basic things of being human, which is heart. (Not saying all like that, I met some helpful people along the way, so obviously it’s not them. Hahaha I feel like I have to make it clear, don’t want some people take whatever I’m saying out of context and bite later).

I got you, as much as we tried we will never fully pass as native there. But In here we can pass as local, because hell we are local. No Bule rates for us:)) I hope and know so the good changes are coming like you said. I remember not even long ago, some of people from my older brother generation, when they are applying for school or job they were using their Indos’ last names like Lieyanto or Soejono instead of their Chinese ones (Just made up the last names as an example, sorry if our friends here have the same one). But let’s hope we get to see it, I believe even if there is still lots bad apples but the good apples are coming along and even more too.

You good man. My bad for long post:)
 

"People’s Reactions When You’ve Revealed That You’re An “Ex”​

First I heard that I was supposed to have a reaction.
 
I got you, as much as we tried we will never fully pass as native there. But In here we can pass as local, because hell we are local. No Bule rates for us:))
Hi Sine,
I am very interested by your posts because it seems we live in the same city.
I am a WNA who have been living in Manado for over 2 decades. I speak better bahasa Manado than I speak English and most people here believe that I became a WNI, probably because of the way I speak and because they probably saw me in our small city so many times that they must think I was already there when the Dutch left.
Perhaps also they have this feeling because of my unusual activities for a Bule. Or perhaps again it is because unlike other foreigners I never go back "home". Home is Manado and nowhere else. I have no problem with my native country, but if I have to go to an exotic place for vacation, Europe is not high in my bucket list of places to (re)visit.

In fact people I interact with for some time often take for granted that I am a WNI and I stopped denying it. Over the years I noticed that people often felt uncomfortable when I was saying that no, I am not a WNI and still a WNA. When I don't deny that I became a WNI they seem to feel relieved. If I say I am still a WNA they often feel uncomfortable and wonder why someone who has spend so long here, speak the linguo almost like a native, still persists in being a WNA/not becoming a WNI.

An amusing thing is that many of the people I do business with are calling me Ko rather than Mister and believe me I don't look Chinese. :D If it is sometimes due to the fact that the business/trading relation I have with them started through Whatsapp messages where I used exclusively bahasa Manado but it's interesting to note that even after meeting me they pretty much all continue to call me Ko instead of Mister acknowledging that I may be more WNI than WNA, regardless of the color of my skin.

If I didn't become a WNI it's just out of laziness. It wouldn't change anything to me. I feel 100% accepted and integrated, and my WNA status has not been a burden to do business and work (I am married to a WNI). Heck! there is a long time I "feel Indonesian" so a KTP WNI wouldn't change much to me.

It is sad that me, a foreign born would be Indonesian, seem to feel much more comfortable here than people who were born on this land but once left and come back.
 
Hi Sine,
I am very interested by your posts because it seems we live in the same city.
I am a WNA who have been living in Manado for over 2 decades. I speak better bahasa Manado than I speak English and most people here believe that I became a WNI, probably because of the way I speak and because they probably saw me in our small city so many times that they must think I was already there when the Dutch left.
Perhaps also they have this feeling because of my unusual activities for a Bule. Or perhaps again it is because unlike other foreigners I never go back "home". Home is Manado and nowhere else. I have no problem with my native country, but if I have to go to an exotic place for vacation, Europe is not high in my bucket list of places to (re)visit.

In fact people I interact with for some time often take for granted that I am a WNI and I stopped denying it. Over the years I noticed that people often felt uncomfortable when I was saying that no, I am not a WNI and still a WNA. When I don't deny that I became a WNI they seem to feel relieved. If I say I am still a WNA they often feel uncomfortable and wonder why someone who has spend so long here, speak the linguo almost like a native, still persists in being a WNA/not becoming a WNI.

An amusing thing is that many of the people I do business with are calling me Ko rather than Mister and believe me I don't look Chinese. :D If it is sometimes due to the fact that the business/trading relation I have with them started through Whatsapp messages where I used exclusively bahasa Manado but it's interesting to note that even after meeting me they pretty much all continue to call me Ko instead of Mister acknowledging that I may be more WNI than WNA, regardless of the color of my skin.

If I didn't become a WNI it's just out of laziness. It wouldn't change anything to me. I feel 100% accepted and integrated, and my WNA status has not been a burden to do business and work (I am married to a WNI). Heck! there is a long time I "feel Indonesian" so a KTP WNI wouldn't change much to me.

It is sad that me, a foreign born would be Indonesian, seem to feel much more comfortable here than people who were born on this land but once left and come back.
Hi Atlantis

Nice to meet you, man! First I want to apologize to you and all friends here. Perhaps I gave the impression that I still lives in Manado, nor I clear the assumption either. I used to live there, but now I live in Maluku. Now I just went there to do my permits and visits my Opa, he took care of me growing up. I’m consider myself as Manadonese (If it’s the right terms for it) because my mom is one. The whole reason why is as I shared before, I’m still not comfortable people knowing me as ex Wni and Maluku is a relatively small place so given that most people are kepo, they will know. :)

Like you said when people find out about you not being a WNI they rather become uncomfortable. Not saying everyone that find out acting like that, but most are. I’m less worry / perhaps not at all during social interactions because people tend to be nicer and receptive during these settings. What I’m most worried is when I’m helping my parents business, I just dont want to bring additional problems to my family, but perhaps it’s just my tainted world view. I’m an Indo Chinese. I don’t know if it just me, but I feel like the rates for everything, from buying stuff to asking for whatever permits for our business are higher and rather more difficult (i.e. asking more ”required” paper works) than the locals (H*ll how local they want me to be, I was born in Indo hahaha), but sure lower and easier than bule. (Admin I don’t know if what I’m saying here is ok or not, if not please feel free to delete this post, I’m ok with it)

Maan perhaps I’m just too overly sensitive. I notice once they (a lot of petugas and people in the same business as my family) find out, the way they look at me, their tone, the way they say stuff instantly change 180 degree. A cordial and lively conversation suddenly turn cold and awkward, sometimes I see hate and envy in their eyes. Sometimes their expressions suddenly look like a cat when chasing a mouse. Sure there is still a lot of good people who see the status just a label, and accepting me regardless of what passport I’m holding. Hahaha just don’t want to give the impression that everyone are bad.

Wow over 20 years a long time. Sure you are more Indo than other Indos. I believe it’s more about what your heart feel about a place than what a piece of paper telling you what you should feel about that particular place in accordance to the status written on it. Also I’m sure you contribute more for the betterment of your community during your 20 years than some people who claiming and what the paper says are Indo ever did and will do in their lifetime for their community. Plus you speak the lingo and everything, that’s an dedication and achievement. Salute to you man!

Same here a piece of paper won’t change who I am. Regardless what the paper say I’m still me. Even if they want to do genealogy test, I they will find Indo genes there. I still have the good qualities that made me who I am, and plus I still have those bad qualities that made people want to smack me in the head too. Not to be downer, but life is not all sunshine. It has ups and downs, so I don’t want to worry about my right to stay here. Sometime I wish at least If there is no dual citizenship yet for exes and mix marriages, the permits for us should have bring less anxiety and headache. I know for sure we all just want to spend our times here peacefully and sure wants good things for our community because we live in it.

Yeah I wonder the same too. Why? Is just happens to me? Or other exes sometime experience the rejection in one way the other? Perhaps it’s my fault too, my posts tend to leaning toward ranting / complaining, mostly sharing my negative experiences. I’m bs-ing if I say I don’t like it here, it just because I live here I want it to be better. But sure It still bug me that a people treatment can change because of what passport we are holding. I’m still me. Hahaha like I said earlier regardless whether i‘m holding a blue or a green passport some people still want to smack me in the head because I annoy them. That I’m ok, they can dislike or even hate me for my bad characters:) Feels good I have a Kawanua here. Nice meeting you, hope you and your family are safe and well!🙏
 

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