PARENTIAL RIGHTS OF CHILD AFTER A DIVORCE

fraser hall

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Feb 13, 2019
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Hi Forum members,

I have a sticky situation where I am divorced from my Indonesian passport holding wife, we have a daughter who is now 13 and currently against my daughters wishes lives with her mother in Indonesia. My daughter is a British passport holder, as am and only has a yearly renewable visa only to remain in Indonesia - she has on many occasion shown substantial preference to live with me her dad, but has been told this is not possible under Indonesian law and must be approved by my ex-wife's family which seems farcical as its my daughter - from my understanding a child after the age of 12 can choose which parent to reside with and the family have no legal standing or say in the matter whatsoever and are using scare tactics against my deeply unhappy daughter to retian her in Indonesia... can anyone please help clarify... as far as I can see she makes the decision in court and I collect her - additionally her mother has no income and is 100 % dependent on me - which I think is another factor as the ex-wife will lose the substantial funding I provide.
 

jstar

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I assume it was a KUA marriage, normally in that case the religious court decides that the custody of a child up to 12 years old goes to the mother and after being 12 years old, she has a right to choose between living with the father or mother. But I have no idea what the court would decide if that means living outside of Indonesia? Lawyer!
 

dafluff

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YES it was KUA - I have the muslim marriage passport
In the case of Muslim marriage, and provided you can't get an informal resolution with your wife's family, you will need to go to Islamic court to settle the issue of custody. The Indonesian Compilation of Islamic Law (Kompilasi Hukum Islam), article 105 says that children over 12 years old may choose which parent they want to live with.

However, I doubt this is going to be an open and shut case. Depending on how much of a fight the mother wants to put up, they can question whether you are a good Muslim, they may bring up the fact that you are a foreigner and taking away the child from Indonesia, etc, etc. I've even seen cases where one party simply absconds with the children. Another where they hired thugs to intimidate the other party.

I think the initial suggestion to get a lawyer is probably the correct first step.
 

jstar

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I fully agree without @dafluff 's assessment. It would not be that difficult to create a certain impression of you as father or of your family. And then the perceived 'doing the right thing for the child' might not be the same as 'doing what the child wants'.

Speaking personally, if I were in such a position, I would do everything in my power to make sure the 'playing field' would be my home country and get us there. Which judiciary -as the U.K.'s- seems much more objective. Not to endorse anything illegal of course.
 

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