Indonesian divorce basics

ori0n

New Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2019
Messages
2
I'm new here but hoping someone has some information that can help, cause I really can't find anything online.

I got married to a Indoneasia citizen about 1.5 years ago, she's Muslim. A few months back on my last visit she asked for a divorce and said her family would take care of everything. We just never got along and both realized we couldn't live together.

I'm not a resident of Indonesia and never had a kitas. I stayed there on 2 occasions for 3 months each time. I have no idea how this works and if anything will be needed from me for the divorce.

No kids, no property, never worked there. I just wanna make sure it's not a problem down the road, if I meet someone else and try to marry again.

I'm from the US, I never reported it here either on my taxes or to USCIS, never applied for a Visa for her or there. It was really a bad situation from the start.

Is there a record of this outside Indoneasia? Will I need some kinda paper to prove my divorce later?
 

snpark

Well-Known Member
Cager
Joined
Sep 30, 2016
Messages
1,693
Was it a genuine real marriage? Registered? Or just a fake religious only one "nikah siri"
Did you convert to become a Muslim

I think you'd know if it was a genuine marriage because there's tons of paperwork to be done and running around and costs and hassles and signing and pics etc etc

Did you get a passport style book with your photo inside?
I think you just did a fake blessing thing. In which case don't worry.

You got off lightly!
And no you don't even need to pay alimony. Whatever she says.
 

jstar

Mr. 10,000
Joined
Jul 31, 2016
Messages
4,305
As @snpark states, you're probably okay. It is quite often used by local girls and men from the Middle East who want a temporary marriage with the aim to be able to have casual sex.

If you have paperwork that says something like "KUA", then you might have a bigger problem...

Have a look here:
 
Last edited:

ori0n

New Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2019
Messages
2
It was a legit marriage unfortunately lol.

I felt kinda mislead about the whole situation, was one of our many problems we had with each other. She told me to just tell them I'm Muslim or we couldn't even hangout cause there are religion police there or something and that if it didn't work out it would be easily dissolved.

We had 2 books, but she never actually let me have mine. She said from the beginning she needed them both for when we get divorced. Things were never really good between us from day one.

Any advice on if I need a attorney there? Or suggestions on good attorneys that speak English.
 

snpark

Well-Known Member
Cager
Joined
Sep 30, 2016
Messages
1,693
If you don't live here I wouldn't bother. Chances are she will remarry before you so she's the one will be looking for you to allow the fast divorce. But no need pay her anything.

Pretty sure divorce is just some papers and a few hundred $ only.
I wouldn't panic too much over it. Sorry to say
 

snpark

Well-Known Member
Cager
Joined
Sep 30, 2016
Messages
1,693
But you totally sure it was a real genuine marriage. I mean the fact you're asking makes me doubt because you would totally now if it was the real legal one because it would have taken weeks and months of papers documents signatures and money. And even for nikah siri "con" she could have knocked up some fake books.

Real wedding you would have needed paperwork from your own embassy, the police, etc etc etc plus convert to Muslim Islam properly in a mosque
 

jstar

Mr. 10,000
Joined
Jul 31, 2016
Messages
4,305
Doorbell ringing.

"Can you get that Honey? I'm busy putting the kids to bed."

"Sure. So late, who could that be?"

"Malam, Sayang. Do you remember me, your Istri?"

:frusty:



So yes, this could all just blow over. But I would definitely ask the spouse what she has done for the divorce and some written proof of the outcome. You don't want that sword of Damocles over your head...

And if it's not for yourself, it could be for family members etc. who would otherwise inherit from you.
 

atlantis

Administrator
Moderator
Cager
Joined
Jul 13, 2016
Messages
2,455
But I would definitely ask the spouse what she has done for the divorce and some written proof of the outcome. You don't want that sword of Damocles over your head...

And if it's not for yourself, it could be for family members etc. who would otherwise inherit from you.
This.
If it is a legal marriage you can't just ignore or underestimate the multiple civil consequences it may have.

Just an example which pops up in my mind: if your wife got involved with a man, get a kid from him before a divorce is acted in court, the kid is legally yours under Indonesian law and you will be legally acknowledge as the father, with all the civil rights and obligations it goes with. Even if there is a very remote chance it happens, you don't want a kid you have never seen and care for, who is not biologically yours, claim anything from you at anytime in your life or afterward just because your name is on a birth certificate.

Also, if a divorce is not acted, and if you remarry, it would be a case of polygamy which may not be seen kindly in the US.

There is one thing which puzzles me though, if you don't mind me asking:
We had 2 books, but she never actually let me have mine. She said from the beginning she needed them both for when we get divorced. Things were never really good between us from day one.
Do you imply that divorce was part of the plan or discussed from the beginning? This raise an alarm bell for me and perhaps you should dig her reason to marry. Make sure there is nothing you may be held responsible for in the future.
 

snpark

Well-Known Member
Cager
Joined
Sep 30, 2016
Messages
1,693
the kid is legally (Y) ours under Indonesian law

Do you imply that divorce was part of the plan or discussed from the beginning? This raise an alarm bell for me and perhaps you should dig her reason to marry. Make sure there is nothing you may be held responsible for in the future.
I thnk he meant IF they get divorced which is still a bit weird on the wedding day to say that.
Might as well ask him to sign a life insurance policy "just in case you die of food poisoning next Tuesday"
 

atlantis

Administrator
Moderator
Cager
Joined
Jul 13, 2016
Messages
2,455
BTW Welcome back Atlantis lol
I am still very much around snpark. More lurking than posting though, essentially due to a lack of time. Surely you have noticed that I affectionate long posts and unfortunately they require a bit of time, especially for posters with an average English like me.
 

snpark

Well-Known Member
Cager
Joined
Sep 30, 2016
Messages
1,693
I am still very much around snpark. More lurking than posting though, essentially due to a lack of time. Surely you have noticed that I affectionate long posts and unfortunately they require a bit of time, especially for posters with an average English like me.
Indeed I do. Duly noted Pak Boss
 

Users who viewed this discussion (Total:0)

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Follow Us

Latest Expat Indo Articles

Latest Activity

Latest Tweets by Expat Indo

Online Now

Newest Members

Forum Statistics

Threads
4,399
Messages
67,026
Members
1,768
Latest member
m17tgw
Top Bottom