- Nov 6, 2016
The Yoga Daily dictatorship on Bali comes at you gradually, then suddenly.
By Breaking in Asia
DENPASAR, BALI – A militant expat yoga junta calling itself OmPure and driven by a power-food-based neo-Lululemonist ideology has declared a coup on the Bali government, announcing from its beach headquarters in Canggu that it has established control in the southwestern coastal area of the island through a coalition of 27 yoga studios, 18 CrossFit gyms, 12 muay thai centres and 347 organic coffee shops.
A spokeswoman for the group, Lydia Shri-Vinyasa-Smith, who claims she hails from a mythological town in England called Guildford, said OmPure was prepared to begin studio-to-street demonstrations against the local government for what the group believes is the government’s “incapacity to absorb and unwillingness to accept that the digital nomad-cum-pop fitness slave tribe’s advaita [nonduality] is the one true reality” that all the tribes of Bali will someday come to live by.
The Bali government said that although it did not accept OmPure’s coup declaration, it would be happy to consider giving it a demonstration permit so long as it holds its protests at the sprawling Finn’s VIP Beach Club, whose vibey music and insane setup has welcomed revolutionary expat groups since 2017.