Does anyone else do this to remember names?

Dharma Police

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I have a hard time remembering people's names, period. Indonesian names are even more of a challenge, since I can't use a mnemonic device like I do with Western names e.g. John = John Wick, or Mary = There's Something About Mary.

I have tons of names to remember at work, so I use the iNote or Cheats app to type them in moments after I get introduced to people (see example below). Then I'll refer to the notes when I see them next time. This has proven to be a useful habit, since they're impressed at my ahem, good memory, when I call them by their name later. I mean it's a good feeling when someone remembers your name, right? What do you do to remember Indonesian people's names?

name names.jpg
 
I'm generally bad at remembering names, but I seem to find it hardest of all to remember western names with Indonesian faces. I can't explain it, maybe the associations just have a harder time matching up (kinda feels like some of that subconscious racism that you hear about).
Anyhow, not meeting as many people at once as I imagine you do, I've been trying to just make myself use the person's name as soon as I meet them, as many times as I can work it into the conversation. If that won't work in the moment, then once I am alone, I will imagine talking to them and saying their name while picturing their face.
I've still got a horrible success rate. Someone I have met maybe ten times in the last ten years (last time 5 plus years ago) and probably spent four our more hours talking with called me up this morning and I just had to pretend to know who they were until they said enough keywords to get my memory working. I even had the name on the phone. Still clueless.
 
I'm generally bad at remembering names, but I seem to find it hardest of all to remember western names with Indonesian faces. I can't explain it, maybe the associations just have a harder time matching up (kinda feels like some of that subconscious racism that you hear about).
Anyhow, not meeting as many people at once as I imagine you do, I've been trying to just make myself use the person's name as soon as I meet them, as many times as I can work it into the conversation. If that won't work in the moment, then once I am alone, I will imagine talking to them and saying their name while picturing their face.
I've still got a horrible success rate. Someone I have met maybe ten times in the last ten years (last time 5 plus years ago) and probably spent four our more hours talking with called me up this morning and I just had to pretend to know who they were until they said enough keywords to get my memory working. I even had the name on the phone. Still clueless.
Huh. That is odd. That's when I will remember an Indonesian name. For example I will never forget a Hendri (Henry) or Johan.

Repetition doesn't work for me. Well, unless they're close colleagues or folks I deal with on a regular basis. Try the app trick. It's not even considered rude to quickly check your phone in the middle of a conversation, so the next thing out of your mouth can be their name. You will win friends and influence people. Eat your heart out, Dale Carnegie.
 
I make sure I only work in a place where everyone's name is printed on their overalls.
McTrainee

Or their number
Tahanan #1356721
 
I make sure I only work in a place where everyone's name is printed on their overalls.
McTrainee

Or their number
Tahanan #1356721
I did same.
And for the girls, I call them.all "my dear", problem solved.
Can't be arsed (now or in the past) with building a data base of names in my phone.
In a meeting, just lay out the namecards in front of you, disposed as per the seating of the participants. So you can adress them by their name, something all Asians will appreciate.
 
.......
And for the girls, I call them.all "my dear", problem solved.
If you used that technique in many western countries now you would be called sexist and if accompanied by a reassuring pat it would be sexual harassment.
 
Yeh everyone to me is sayang
and to them I am bro, om, bapak, sayang, or daddy, depending on what they want and how much lol
 
If you used that technique in many western countries now you would be called sexist and if accompanied by a reassuring pat it would be sexual harassment.
Naaah, in France we still are a bit romantic....
 
If you used that technique in many western countries now you would be called sexist and if accompanied by a reassuring pat it would be sexual harassment.
Not to sound like a creep (thus ensuring everyone considers the possibility that I am a creep), but I do wonder how people who fully live in the world of modern gender roles deal with pop culture from the past.

I'm not really much into rom-coms, but I remember a hell of a lot of them being about workplace relationships and surprise kisses from friends (sans discussion and consent). Do those films not strike the modern viewer as romantic?

What about all those old men in movies calling adult women sweetheart and darling? I'm pretty sure most of them were written to be charming (with the occasional lecher). Has the mindset of the Western populace actually changed so much that they now come off as patronizing or offensive?

I mean, I'll call people whatever they want to be called (within reason). If I accidentally offend someone or make them uncomfortable, then that is a personal failure on my part (probably). But, I never minded having some lady older than my mother call me sweetheart and say how she wished she was young enough for me. It felt nice. Course, I didn't have to worry she would overpower me or fire me for failing to return her affection.

I just wonder if there is some sort of misalignment between what people actually want to experience in their daily interactions and what they think are the necessary and correct sort of daily interactions.
 
I have always been bad with names, but until recently I usually managed to cope using the name tag on each desk / cubicle, and email. If I move to a new job, I may need to keep a written reminder.
 
I have always been bad with names, but until recently I usually managed to cope using the name tag on each desk / cubicle, and email. If I move to a new job, I may need to keep a written reminder.
I believe that "remembering" people's names will get me ahead in business. It has definitely put me in good graces with suppliers and vendors. Knowing office colleagues' names is incidental to that.
 
Yes, I do that too:!I go one step further and add a small detail or something quirky they have told me Eg: twin daughters at University in US or plays golf on a single handicap, good or bad at chess; thus next time you meet them you have something you remember about them rather than just nice teeth
 
Yes, I do that too:!I go one step further and add a small detail or something quirky they have told me Eg: twin daughters at University in US or plays golf on a single handicap, good or bad at chess; thus next time you meet them you have something you remember about them rather than just nice teeth
That's a good idea. I'm good at remembering details about a person after I commit their name to memory, but an extra step to ensure that wouldn't hurt.
 
When people remember my name I'm always peturbed is it because I'm amazingly funny and the life of the party?
Or a frigging R-soul to be avoided at all costs.

Hopefully the latter. Keeps my Xmas card list shorter.
 

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